I would say about once a year I decide to tighten my belt. Or um loosen in this case because my True Religion jeans don’t fit. Same thing happened last year – remember 5 Days of Insanity?
I think it has something to do with winter and needing a little extra padding. I tend to hibernate in the winter – after all I just admitted to watching 5 hours in a row of Bethenny Ever After – and during the holidays I always loosen up a little bit. Instead of one cookie I eat 10. And now here we are…approaching spring…and the other day I button my True Religion jeans (that barely even made it over my ass) and I’ve got this role hanging over my pants.
I looked in the mirror completely disgusted. “What is this?” I asked my husband.
“What?”
“This!?!” I say while squeezing the roll. “You don’t SEE this?!?”
“I think you look pretty damn good,” he says, giving me the eye.
While I do appreciate that, deep down no matter what your size you know what is acceptable for you. And barely zipping my True Religion jeans is not acceptable for me.
I’m thinking this is going to turn into a yearly thing….approaching spring feels like a good time to hit the reset button. Start fresh. Regroup. Time to remind myself that moderation is key and blah blah blah.
So I Googled ‘Japanese diet’. I seriously did. I mean the Japanese are skinny right?
I even Googled ‘fat Japanese person’ just as a reference for this post and look what I stumbled upon…Fat in Japan? You’re Breaking the Law, though I don’t know if this law is still in effect?
Deciding the Japanese diet probably wasn’t for me I decided on the Banana diet.
Photo courtesy of truththeory.com
Here it is:
For 3-4 days you eat 3-5 bananas/day combining them with 3-4 cups of low-fat milk. If you’re not a big milk drinker you can drink almond milk.
Quick side note: I’m obsessed with almond milk. I started drinking it about six months ago. I don’t drink a ton of milk, and this milk never goes bad. It lasts forever. If I buy a ½ gallon of almond milk at about $4 it will last me for two weeks. Plus it has fewer calories. Win-win!
You can also eat your banana with plain yogurt. You can eat the banana and the yogurt separately or you can blend one banana with one cup of milk and/or yogurt to make a smoothie.
According to the website this 3-4 day banana diet will help you lose 6 pounds. Not only do I have about 5 pounds to lose but I also have to get my appetite down – it’s like I’ve been starving all day every day for the past 2-3 weeks! – and clean out the processed foods. Way too much pizza and take-out lately.
They also have a 7 day diet menu featured on their website.
I opted to do the 3 day diet, but I did it for 4 days.
Here is my experience:
Day 1: Day 1 was an absolute breeze. While I can’t completely skip coffee I did decide to detox from Dunkin Donuts iced coffee for four days while on this “cleanse”. I did make a small coffee in the AM but instead of cream I added almond milk and 1 tsp of sugar – which for me is intense. My coffee is like dessert…cream, sugar, the whole nine yards.
I ate four bananas throughout my work day. I started at 8:30 AM and timed my eating out until 4:30 pm to eat 1 banana and drink 1 cup of milk every 2-3 hours. I was feeling pretty good!
When I got home I made a banana smoothie. I blended my 5th banana, 1 more cup of milk, plain Greek yogurt and a handful of ice. It was pretty delicious!
Throughout the day I sipped on water and Green tea.
Yes, I was hungry, but as I said above I’ve been hungry regardless of what I’ve eaten for the past 2-3 weeks. So before even when I was actually eating I was still starving. I went to bed feeling content and good about myself, whereas the last week of binging has left me going to bed feeling very blah.
Day 2: Day 2 I woke up feeling hungry. Not a good start. I sort of had the shakes too. I made my coffee at home with almond milk and skipped the sugar. I walked in the office at 7:59 and ate a banana.
I’m not going to lie. Day 2 was a struggle. Day 2 I thought about breaking down and getting Dunkin Donuts iced coffee and knew that would get me through. And then I reminded myself that is what heroin addicts say.
In an effort now to just prove a point to myself that I can go four days without DD I decided to stay firm. I mean, for the love of God, there are Americans overseas fighting a war, and I’m having a breakdown in my office about not having Dunkin Donuts iced coffee? Good grief.
At noon I broke down and ate a hard-boiled egg. In the 7 day version you are allowed to eat hard-boiled eggs. I figured it was better than breaking down completely and getting a Big Mac. I also chugged 1 cup of milk in 4 seconds flat. I set down the cup and wished it was a glass of red wine, but oh well. On Friday I plan on getting hammered. On iced coffee and wine.
For dinner I ate my banana smoothie plus I indulged in a bowl of lettuce. Not salad. Lettuce. Just lettuce. In a bowl. It’s actually not very good.
I was really aggravated and crabby all evening. My husband yelled at me to not take my hunger out on him. I yelled at him to not talk to me because he is annoying. I went to bed at 8:30 PM relieved to end the day.
Day 3: I woke up feeling not as hungry and in better spirits. I put on a pair of jeans – tight! Ugh! – and decided this is a good thing seeing as though my jeans are still tight.
I made coffee at home and managed to hold off on my banana and glass of almond milk until 8:30 AM. At noon I ate a hard-boiled egg.
I think it’s weird that I don’t feel that bad….I felt pretty energetic and happy. I just wished I could go get Dunkin Donuts. What does this say about me? I find it slightly alarming, but my husband says it’s the hunger talking. I’m not hungry, per se, but I’m really sick of eating the same thing.
I keep reminding myself that I only have one more day to go. I will take pride in successfully taking off 4 days of DD to get myself in ‘check’…Four days of remembering what it feels like to view food as gas for your body as opposed to the luxury of eating…
I definitely felt the best on Day 3. I even made it to the YMCA and signed up for a bootcamp class. I did totally suck in bootcamp. I think of myself as a somewhat in shape person so I’m not sure if I’m just not as in shape as I thought or if it was the fact that I am consuming fewer calories than usual. Either way, I did complete bootcamp and felt pretty damn good about myself!
When we got home I sat with the Chiquita to watch the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. She ate her goldfish, and I snacked (1/3 cup) on nut and berry mix from Trader Joe’s. It was quite tasty.
I slept like a rock.
Day 4: I woke up feeling like it should be Friday. It should be my Dunkin Donuts day. Ugh. I seriously have another day of this?
I don’t feel that hungry, but I’m just so over this…
I remembered I have an event tonight. I will have to attend without eating or drinking. I will stay strong and do it because I’ve come this far; I’m not bailing now.
I sipped Green tea after my first milk and banana combo. For lunch I had a hard-boiled egg again. The hard-boiled egg has been a nice addition to this diet. I did also snack on my Trader Joe’s nut and berry mix. I told you, I’m losing steam, but I am staying strong.
My uncle told me that he has heard of a modified version of the banana diet from a friend who is a nutritionist/body builder. He said that when his friend is in competition mode his diet changes to a banana/tuna diet. I think this actually doesn’t sound that bad but remember I make my tuna with mayo, mustard, celery…I don’t think I could even eat plain tuna without gagging. It doesn’t help that I have a fish phobia. But, something to think about if you like tuna.
Reminds me of the dude I worked with in high school who ate plain tuna in the can every single day. We called him Tuna Ass Breath Man. To this day I still call him Tuna. LOL
I continue to repeat in my head: Just get through today to have Dunkin Donuts tomorrow. What kind of sick obsession is this? It’s worse than my obsession with Juicy Couture. Or Giuliana Rancic.
Day 5: I made it. I know you’re wondering if I ate or drank at last night’s event, and I’m happy to report that I didn’t. 
Shame on you for doubting me! I did, however, attend with an 8 oz. coffee. I figured if I had the coffee taste in my mouth I’d be less likely to falter. My coffee was made with almond milk and 1 tsp. of sugar. I stuck through to the end.
This morning I pulled in the Dunkin Donuts drive thru excited to get my iced coffee. I’d been debating on my ride over if I should get it with skim milk or cream. I opted for skim milk. It’s not the same, but wasn’t bad and if felt great to take the first sip.
When I got to work I even had a banana.
I feel great.
Some common questions:
1. Aren’t you constipated?
Nope! My poops have been plentiful!
2. Are you really eating only bananas?
I am really eating everything I described above.
3. Aren’t you getting sick of bananas?
Fuck yeah.
4. How do you feel on the banana diet versus the juice cleanse?
I feel a lot better on the banana diet then I felt on the juice cleanse. On the juice cleanse I was very sore. I felt sick and lethargic. I had the shakes and diarrhea. I had headaches. I was a mess. On the banana diet I feel pretty good honestly! I really just can’t get over how much I miss Dunkin Donuts iced coffee. I’m convinced they put drugs in it because I am drinking one small coffee (8 oz.) per day with almond milk and lite or no sugar so it’s not like I’m not drinking any coffee at all.
5. Would you do it again?
Absolutely! It gave me a great sense of accomplishment in addition to the reset my body needed. It’s also cheap and easy to do – just buy some milk and bananas.
6. Did you lose any weight?
I’m honestly not sure. I don’t weigh myself. I have to try on my True Religion jeans this weekend. What I can tell you is that I feel great. I feel not only a sense of accomplishment but my body feels great! My stomach looks smaller, my pants fit better today and maybe I’m just in love with myself today but I honestly feel like I even look better! I highly recommend this diet!
Please use the comments section below to tell us of any outrageous diets you’ve tried!
Tags: celebrities, Coffee, Drive Thru, Dunkin Donuts, hot mom, Juice Cleanse, Skinny jeans, Wine
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