Tag Archives: Addict

Embracing Change

23 May

I laid in bed at 3 am thinking about this post and wondering exactly what I was going to share. I wanted the post to be upbeat because I went to bed telling myself I was turning over a new leaf, making some much-needed changes after the last month caused my life to spiral out of control.

I already have some big changes on the horizon. I hate change. I’m not sure that anyone really loves change, but I truly despise change. Change gives me anxiety. I need things to just mosey on along…it’s not to say that I’m boring…I just can’t deal with a lot of uncertainty.

I like my routine. Sure I kick back on the weekends, but I’m kicking back with my family and my friends and in my home in the town I grew up in. Let’s just say I’m not usually a fly by the seat of my pants type of girl…in Mexico with cocktails maybe.

Yesterday I got the rug pulled out from under me in a change I never saw coming. I had an inkling something was going on, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. When I was given the news I can tell you I never in a million years expected to hear the words I heard.

I would have believed his words … “by the way I’m pregnant” … or gay … or in love with you before I would have ever expected what I actually heard.

I was completely shocked.
I was hurt.
I was angry.

Between these two life-altering changes I sat stunned thinking how life as I know it would never be the same. My world was falling apart in front of my very eyes.

And then I burst into tears.
I had a breakdown.
A complete breakdown.

I needed to escape. With black mascara running down my face and red swollen eyes I escaped the only way I know how. I mean other than running off to Vegas to perform in Peep Show, like I once said here.

Bridesmaids Wiig

I escaped to the bottle. I drank and drank and watched Bridesmaids and drank some more and tweeted a bunch of ridiculous crap including telling Donald Trump that just the name Anthony Weiner alone makes me laugh.

Photo courtesy of blog.theregularguynyc.com

Photo courtesy of blog.theregularguynyc.com

Thankfully before pulling an Amanda Bynes I passed out but not before telling my therapist that Botox would fix everything.

Photo courtesy of usmagazine.com

Photo courtesy of usmagazine.com

I’m not sure if I thought I would wake up and life would have magically returned to the way it was before, a month ago, when I was happy and calm and life was good.

Instead I just woke up with ass breath and a headache. My insides still ached as much as before.

I decided on a long walk thinking the sunlight and breezy air may calm my heightened anxiety. And I lost it again. I felt lost myself despite having walked this path so many times.

I walked to the train station and sat to watch the trains pass by. I thought about the passengers on those trains. Were they happy? Sad? Were they lost like me?

For two seconds I felt this urge to jump in front of the train. As it drove by big and loud and windy I thought ‘what if I actually jumped?’

I think I felt God there with me. Despite feeling abandoned by Him I felt his hand on my shoulder; watching me, calming me.

I started to scold myself – sure your life is completely falling apart, sure it will never be the same, but there is one person who will fall apart without you. My kid. It is my job to protect her and keep her safe. I can’t have this kid growing up thinking I wasn’t strong enough and brave enough and that I left her.

Get it together! I yelled at myself in my head. No, I wasn’t a crazy bum sitting at the train station yelling at myself though I’m sure I looked the part.

courteney-cox-big-joeIt’s a PMDD week so certainly all my feelings are exasperated this week, and I am struggling to deal with feelings of loss, abandonment, uncertainty and fear. For the last month I’ve been using Cabernet as a coping mechanism. I was like, Oh, it’s OK, that’s what Brandi Glanville did. #celebrityadvice

Obviously it hasn’t helped.

I finished my long walk thinking about some changes I need to make:

1. Focus on Eva
2. Be nice to myself
3. Continue running
4. Stop the negative thinking
5. Stop drinking (for now)*

I’m strong, independent and perfectly capable of getting through the hard times with hopes of good on the other side. And even though I’m not capable – right now – of seeing the bigger picture I don’t need to drown myself in red wine (for now)*.

God is strengthening me, and I don’t know why, but there is a why and I will continue to believe. I have put my faith in God because that’s all I have left.

*Don’t worry, I’m not going all sober on you guys…just for now while I get through some tough times ahead. I promise there will be more drinking and tweeting. :D

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#18: Deep Thoughts by Jlee

25 Mar
I want this girl's life....

I want this girl’s life….

Have you ever wished you could get DRUNK but still be a productive as you would be SOBER????

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Jlee’s Review – Liz and Dick

2 Dec

lindsay-lohan-taylor-640x424

Not sure if you caught Lifetime’s Original Movie Liz & Dick, which premiered on November 25, 2012, but if you didn’t I highly recommend catching a repeat.

I found this movie, which is based on a true story of the tumultuous love affair between Elizabeth Taylor (played by Lindsay Lohan) and Richard Burton (played by Grant Bowler) to be equally entertaining and frustrating.

The highly anticipated Liz & Dick was to be a comeback role for troubled former child star Lohan. Of being cast as Taylor, Lindsay said, “I have always admired and had enormous respect for Elizabeth Taylor. She was not only an incredible actress but an amazing woman as well. I am very honored to have been asked to play this role.”

Unfortunately, 4 days after the movie opened to less than stellar reviews Lohan was arrested for an alleged New York City nightclub brawl. Lohan’s seventh arrest came just after a recent sit down with US Weekly about her plans to stay on the “straight-and-narrow”.

Poor poor LindsLo. I’m serious. I actually really like Lindsay Lohan, and I feel like her crazy parents have royally f*cked her. She started out as a brilliant actress – remember The Parent Trap? Freaky Friday? Mean Girls????

But because her mom, Dina, has spent the last ten or s0 years hitting the LA club scene with her daughter while dad, Michael, has done multiple stints in jail and rehab (did you catch him on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew? Yes….yes, I did.) this girl didn’t stand a chance in Hollywood.

Drinking, drugs, Porsche’s and lesbians = my kind of life BUT luckily for me my parents loved me more than money and therefore didn’t try to sell me to the first talent agency upon my acclaimed Burger King performance when I was 5.

But back to Liz & Dick. Let’s break it down…

#1 – Liz & Dick is a Lifetime movie (Sunday hangover channel)
#2 – LindsLo may be a train wreck, but she IS a good actress
#3 – Based on a true story (only the best kind of story)
#4 – Gives an inside look at the life of Dame Elizabeth Taylor

How could this movie be a fail?

As mentioned above, I found this movie to be both entertaining and frustrating. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the screen, but was at the same time yelling ‘why the hell can’t you two just get along?’ at the TV.

Referred to as a modern-day Romeo and Juliet, I was quite intrigued with a celeb romance I did not see splattered all over US Weekly since I wasn’t yet born at the time of Taylor and Burton’s infamous affair. I found myself questioning all my years of loyalty to Miss Marilyn Monroe, and wishing I’d read a biography or two on Dame Taylor as well.

I found LindsLo’s portrayal of the beautiful, complex and legendary actress – who also happened to be a businesswoman and an AIDS and HIV activist – to be quite endearing, as if they share a vulnerability that is cursed by fame and self-loathing. And I do think Lohan emulated Taylor more than the critics believed…

The Liz and Dick; photo courtesy of Lifetime

The Liz and Dick; photo courtesy of Lifetime.

Bowler and Lohan as Liz and Dick in Cleopatra; photo courtesy of Lifetime.

Bowler and Lohan as Liz and Dick in Cleopatra; photo courtesy of Lifetime.

The most unfortunate part of the movie, however, was the chemistry between LindsLo and leading man Grant Bowler. The fighting parts were believable, but the making love parts were like gag me. I kept wondering if Bowler was kissing Lohan thinking, “Does she have Herpes?”

Saw the hate but not the love.

Saw the hate but not the love.

I did enjoy this movie, but I’m pretty easy to please. I loved Lifetime’s other infamous movie featuring our favorite big dicked Bolingbrook cop Drew Peterson. A sucker for based on a true story” flicks especially featuring famous people I knew there was no way I would not not like this movie.

However, because I knew I would be doing a write-up for my readers I did screen it with an open mind. I would definitely watch it again – if for no other reason than to see Liz’s big [gorgeous] rock Burton bought for her “pudgy” fingers.

Elizabeth Taylor Emerald Ring; photo courtesy of Lifetime.

Elizabeth Taylor Emerald Ring; photo courtesy of Lifetime.

My favorite parts were when Liz and Dick were being interviewed….at that time I found them to be charming, realistic and heart wrenching. And how could you not tear up when at the end it was revealed that Elizabeth kept all of Richard’s letters until her death? Omg, a true love story.

liz-11

Did you catch Liz & Dick? What did you think?

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All Hail the Paci Fairy

29 Nov

With the Chiquita coming up on two and a half we decided it was time to lose the paci. Unfortunately she wasn’t having it. She wasn’t having one second of it. In fact, she started throwing these terrible fits in order to have her paci. When I asked to take her paci from her she’d take one last suck like she was taking a drag on a cigarette.

“This is an addiction!” I exclaimed.

We had planned to break her of it over Christmas break as my husband and I are both off work over the holidays. It was getting so bad though – she literally threw herself on the floor in a blind rage screaming “Paci!!!!” like I was the evil stepmother taking away her glass slipper – that I said to Hubs, “Enough is enough. This kid is more addicted to this paci then my Uncle Frank is to Heroin.”

We decided that was it. Time to go cold turkey.

Well, first after this crazy outburst I looked at the kid and screamed, “Get up right now or I’ll throw that paci in the garbage and you’ll never see it ever again!”

I have to say she did get her little ass off the floor pretty fast and wiped those big crocodile tears from her red eyes. She knows when Mama is ready to lose her shit.

Like a band-aid we decided we just needed to rip it off in one quick tear. That’s it. No more paci.

I was prepared for the kid to freak. I anticipated a really bad weekend and even invested in booze for the occasion.

And then the Paci Fairy was born. We had kicked around the idea of Santa taking the Chiquita’s paci to give to another little boy or girl in need and she kept saying, “Ho-Ho paci, no.”

Afraid that she would end up hating Santa as I do, remember the birth of Bad Mom, and knowing we couldn’t wait that long I checked out the Circle of Moms website and saw that other mothers were enlisting the help of the Paci Fairy. Much like the Tooth Fairy takes your tooth and leaves you money – change when I was a kid, but $5 bills now from some of my friends? – the Paci Fairy takes your paci and leaves you a present….

A really cool present that the Chiquita had been asking for FOR MONTHS!

Friday night when the Chiquita fell fast asleep Hubs and I tip-toed into her room to confiscate paci expecting it had fallen from her mouth. Nope. Paci was safely inside the Chiquita’s mouth. We looked at each other. Do we pull it out? What do we do? It was getting late, and I knew I wasn’t going to make it much longer. The second I got into bed and started reading US Weekly I would pass out.

I whispered, “You gotta take it!”

He whispered, “I don’t know if I can do it!”

“Just do it, rip the band-aid off!” I yelled in a whisper, desperate for this madness to end.

He gently grabbed the paci from her little lips and pulled it free.

We stood there holding our breath.

She took a deep breath and then made a sucking motion with her little mouth.

“Ohhh!” we mouthed and smiled at each other. We did it!

The next morning Hubs was at work when I woke up with the Chiquita. She said, “Mama, paci?” and motioned her hands ‘what the heck’. She had torn apart her bed looking for it.

I picked up the present and said, “Oh my gosh! Look! The Paci Fairy came!”

She looked confused. I had set her up for this a few days prior…the Paci Fairy comes, the Paci Fairy will give your paci to another baby who needs one, the Paci Fairy will give you a cool present…

“Cool!” She had responded until she realized the Paci Fairy takes her paci. Then she said no, she didn’t want the present.

When she opened the present she yelled, “DREAM LITES!!!!”

You can imagine my aggravation when I couldn’t unscrew the back battery compartment because first I couldn’t find a screwdriver; then I couldn’t find the right screwdriver. Meanwhile I have a 2-year-old bouncing around me begging for the Dream Lites.  I ended up having to use the plug until Hubs got home and handled the man duty of unscrewing the back cover.

I was shocked that the Chiquita only asked for paci a handful of times over the weekend. I would nicely remind her that the Paci Fairy gave her Dream Lites and did she want to give Dream Lites back? When she responded ‘yes, paci’ I chose another approach.

“You are a BIG girl, and you helped a baby today by giving her your paci! I’m so proud of you! Let’s play with your Dream Lites!”

“OK Mama!”

Wow, maybe I’m actually doing some things right. :)

Enjoy some pics:

“This is cool!”

This is what was left for the Chiquita from the Paci Fairy.

The Paci Fairy even left a letter!

Still loving Dream Lites!

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Facebook!

12 Oct

Many people know of my love/hate relationship with FB.

There’s: What the %$@! is a Facebook War?

- and -

Facebook – DELETE

But, surprisingly I have been pretty drama free on Facebook over the last year. Probably because my meds are regulated (Reason #26 Why I’m Crazy).

Soo…I decided to join the likes of many others before me and create a Facebook Fan Page for Jlee’s Blog.

I know, I can’t stop laughing myself. It sort of feels weird to ‘like’ myself and ask others to ‘like’ me.

Then I stop laughing and I cry. OMG…only XX amount of ‘likes’? I’m a loser!!!!!

Sigh.

Like I need something else to stress about and wonder “Do they like me? Do they really like me?”

Artists are so painfully insecure.

The reason I decided to make a FB fan page is because my writing coach told me I have to prove to publishers that I have people behind me; that I have a following. People who want to actually read the garbage I spew out and the book I’ve supposedly written. [See Jlee's Excerpt: Concrete Boots]

I said: “I do!”

He said: “Prove it to them.”

So that’s what I’m doing. I said I was going to make this book thing happen in 2012…it might roll over into 2013, but I’m not giving up on my dream of being a published author. :D

If you haven’t already I would SOO appreciate your support of me and Jlee’s Blog by clicking the ‘like’ button to the right.

I am also on Twitter were I spew even more useless crap so please follow me:  https://twitter.com/JLEE5879blogger

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I’ve Got Friends in Low Places

30 Aug

Or high places rather. Remember, I’m the future BFF of Giuliana Rancic. I’m not messing around here. I only hang with people who are going places. And one of those people who is going places that I had the opportunity to meet – omg and he’s so cute – is recording artist Anthony Snape.

On Saturday my friend traveled with me to the boondocks of country-living to attend a private tent show at my boss’s home featuring Aussie native Anthony Snape.

My boss and his wife became acquainted with Anthony when they attended a Tommy Emmanuel concert late last year. Anthony has performed hundreds of shows in the United States as Emmanuel’s opening act.

Not only were they blown away by his talent, but my boss and his wife were able to meet the newcomer who has received many awards from the Australian press, including Acoustic Artist of the Year and Best Pop Artist. They have both called Anthony down-to-Earth and kind-hearted, and they wanted to share Anthony’s talent with their family and friends.

So, Neil’s wife went to work trying to finagle Anthony to travel from Nashville, where he now resides since leaving Australia several years ago, to Illinois. When my boss started planning for the event I was like omg, I’m sooo in! I love backyard get-togethers, I love beer, and I love music.

My friend and I made a day of it – she picked me up while Hubs stayed home with the Chiquita. And before you feel bad for him, remember, he’s not a social butterfly so he didn’t really want to go. Which works out fine for me, I figured I’d have more fun with my friend anyways. :)

Goofy girls

Friend and I then went to McDonald’s for Sweet Tea and got on the road to make the hour plus drive to my boss’s country home. Everyone loves a road trip out of the city!

When we neared my boss’s house we passed the road we were supposed to turn on – Budd Road, lmao, Buddddddd – TWICE. Yes, not once, but twice. Wtf were we doing? Two chicks on the road; we felt like Thelma and Louise, in the beginning when they first took off and were hot, not the end when they were sweaty felons running from the law. That movie actually depressed me at the end. Third times the charm and we finally found Budddddd Road. Only in the country would they have a Budd Road.

We were sort of intimidated when we showed up. I don’t know why, I guess I was because I don’t really never socialize with my bosses too much outside of work. I’m pretty sure they know I’m crazy (they often refer to my ‘Italian temper’) and they think I’m an alcoholic (sorry I like wine!), but I try not to subject them to that. You know, what they don’t know won’t hurt them. Plus Friend is sort of on the crazy side, too, so this could go one of two ways. I hope one doesn’t end up with me fired.

We pulled our cooler full of Hoegaarden and LaCroix (must-have!) up the driveway. As we walked towards the garage we saw the big orange box. Holy cow, my boss even got a porter-potty for the occasion! So official.

Side note, I did pull Boss aside and request to use the powder room because “I have to like touch up my make-up and stuff.” [high-maintenance, I know]

But the real reason was just because I hate porter-potties. I can’t remember the last time I used a porter-potty. Oh, I do remember. It was when the Chiquita was 2 weeks old and we were walking home from the Cellar Door park. Long story short I had to go soo badly, but I couldn’t fit the stroller inside. Wtf. So, here I am squatting over the plastic toilet seat while I hold up my dress and hold open the door so I can see the Chiquita. This is a true story. This is why I hate porter potties. Well, that and the smell, the lack of toilet paper, the lack of hand sanitation (i.e., soap and water, not those ridiculous hand sanitizers). Now that I think about it, porter potties should be destroyed.

OK, I just went off on a tangent there.

Official Guest Tag

So Friend and I get settled in (we even got these groovy tags to wear), crack open a Hoegaarden with freshly cut lemons (I don’t half-ass anything) and sit down to take it all in. We talk with this very hot and cool chick that we desperately want to be friends with, but who also is a country dweller so that will probably never happen. And her husband was a bit of a tool.

When the show started a bit later we didn’t know what to expect. Anthony performed under a large tent and we excitedly took seats near the back. You know, so we could get up for refills or bathroom breaks without disturbing anyone. We’re very polite.

I’d also like you to know we were very well-behaved, and only did I have one ‘moment’ where I tried to get my boss’s wife to do a shot of tequila with me, luckily she declined, and oh yeah another ‘moment’ of trying to hook Friend up with a man from my boss’s “geek group” by shouting “Oh! Friend needs some computer work done!” which left her actually speechless and praying for a distraction. Even Boss looked at me like, STFU. Oops. I love it.

Back to the show, it was a beautiful summer afternoon, warm and breezy, and when Anthony started to croon the whole crowd was in utter amazement. He played the guitar – and the ukulele – with such ease, yet he also had such warmth with the crowd.

Playing the ukelele…he’s hot

He’s not…

He shared anecdotes of each song and of his decision to come to the US. He told us of his song being played on the popular show The Biggest Loser and how he was so excited, but then when he found out the name of the show he was like – uhhhhh, how am I supposed to promote that? By the way, in addition to The Biggest Loser, his songs have also been featured on General Hospital and ABC News.

Following the show he mingled with the party guests – and we snapped this pic with him! – and he signed autographs and answered questions. And what was so cool was that he was just as delighted to be playing for us as we were to be meeting him and hearing him sing.

I am definitely now a fan and I urge you to check him out!

Website: http://anthonysnape.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/anthonysnape
Twitter: https://twitter.com/@anthonysnape
Instagram: @snapeshots

Also, listen to my favorite Anthony song – the Instagram song! [Actual title: Pictures] I just went to sign up for an Instagram account so I could follow Anthony and share some pics with my readers, and I sadly just discovered that you can’t get Instagram on a Windows phone. :( Hopefully soon!

Check back for more info on Anthony – I am hoping to twist his arm into being our next “Get to Know” featured on Jlee’s Blog! Also, my boss’s wife is trying to get him to perform this winter in Chicagoland. Stay tuned!

And a big thanks to Anthony Snape! We had a wonderful time and were so honored to meet you and be a part of such a fantastic show.

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Jlee’s Review – Michael O’Rourke Hair Products

7 Aug

One thing I’ve always hated about myself is my fine thin hair. If I put my hair in a ponytail it is a very sad little ponytail. I have clip-in extensions that I sometimes wear, but let’s be honest, as a full-time working mom it’s not like I get out of bed and get ready for work like I’m a model or something. I mean, yes, I think I dress cute, and I wear make-up to work, but I don’t go all out like I’m going out on the town so I don’t generally wear my extensions to the office.

I’m envisioning the Victoria’s Secret Model in the catalog wearing a hot business suit with her top unbuttoned to show her bra, sexy glasses on, and her hair tied up in a slick ponytail…uh, no, I do not go to work like that.

Back to my fine thin hair, I often try new hair products with the hope that something will do the trick to give me celeb beautiful hair like my BFF Giuliana Rancic whose hair always looks fab in a ponytail or Kim K. with her gorgeous flowing waves. I can’t tell you the number of products in my cabinet – I could seriously probably never buy another hair product again and there will still be hair products left after I die in 60 years, assuming I make it that long.

Side note: I always say that I will be one of those people who lives forever because I’m sort of a crabby person….so like I’ll be that old crabby lady yelling ‘These damn kids!’ out my window, hence why I think I’ll be around in 60 years. It’s God’s evil little joke on society.

So anyways, I was on Groupon (again, I know, I think I’m seriously addicted to Groupon. Here’s my other review of a Groupon product in case you missed it: 5 Days of Insanity) and I spotted this hair product: Michael O’Rourke Rock your hair Big Hair Rocks.

First off, they did an awesome job on the product packaging because I was sold by the pink bottles and the pretty heart bling alone! The product [on Groupon] cost $30 for four products – Big Volume Root Pump, Big Volume Hair Spray, Miracle Leave-In Conditioner and Big Hair Powder.

I was soo excited to get my new hair products in the mail! When the box arrived it was packaged inside this cute tote box! Omg, love!

Who wouldn’t want to get this in the mail?

Here are my four products!

The next morning I excitedly used the new products. First, after washing my hair, I put in the Miracle Leave-In Conditioner.  Then I sprayed the Big Volume Root Pump. Usually using too many products in my fine thin hair will leave it looking wet, greasy and limp. Eww. These products, however, did not! And they smell FAB!

I finished off my hair with the Big Volume Hair Spray which was just sticky enough. I have some sprays that are wayyyy too sticky, and the spray that I’m currently obsessed with is Nexxus Comb Thru. I love the Nexxus spray but the problem is that because it’s Comb Thru I have to use a ton of this product.

I used the Big Hair Powder one evening after work when I was freshening up before heading out for an after work meeting. I have to confess that I often put powder in my hair late in the day because my fine thin hair can get greasy by the end of the day. I’ll sprinkle a little baby powder in my roots and it always does the trick!

But, I’ve never actually used powder that is meant for your hair before…so I was really excited to try this product. When I’m freshening up I dump some (umm..way too much) powder into my hair. And it feels gross. And it feels sticky. But, it does do the trick. My hair has body and looks pretty darn good for surviving a full day of work.

I used it again last Friday night for a friend’s wedding. I knew this time to use a little bit less. That did the trick and my hair looked (and smelled!) great!

Not bad after working all day and having 15 minutes to get ready!

So, my review of Michael O’Rourke’s Rock your hair products is such:  FAS.

Be sure to check out the website for Rock your hair products. They are reasonably priced AND come with free shipping. I’m going to be checking out the shampoo as well because I love the smell of this hair product! FYI, there is also a Moisture Madness line.

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Jlee’s Review – Intoxicology 101s Sangria

1 Aug

Alex at Intoxicology 101 did a wonderful guest blog for us on July 23rd which included two Sangria recipes. See it here if you missed it: sAnGrIa ~ A Party Favorite.

Here is an excerpt from the post: Because Alex knows I’m a wino he provided us with two Sangria recipes! I made an awesome Sangria yesterday for the Chiquita’s 2nd birthday, I will share the recipe and pics in another post, but I am anxious to try Alex’s recipe for a pool party I am having this weekend. I will provide my review of the recipe next week.

As promised here is my review of Intoxicology 101s Sangria.

Toxic.

Toxic as in I woke up naked at 8:30 pm wondering what the hell happened. Toxic as in I was banging on my bathroom door desperately trying to break it down as I knew I was going to be sick. Toxic as in four days later my stomach still isn’t quite right.

The only good thing is that out of four women two of us ended up puking. So, I ask you. What could take down two grown women at a pool party?

Alex’s Sangria. Damn him. It’s because he’s a Sux, I mean, Sox fan. Or because it was just that darn good.

I made Alex’s Spiked White Peach Sangria. Here is the recipe again:

  • 1 750 ML bottle Dry to Semi-dry White (I Use Pinot Grigio)
  • 3/4 cup Vodka (Or try Peach Vodka)
  • 6 Tbs frozen lemonade concentrate
  • 1 LB peaches, pitted and sliced
  • 3/4 cup Red grapes, halved (Seedless)
  • 3/4 cup Green grapes, halved (Seedless)
  • 1/4 cup Sugar

In a large pitcher, combine your wine, vodka, lemonade concentrate and sugar. Stir until the sugar dissolves. Go ahead and add in your fruits next. Refrigerate until chilled and allow the fruit flavors to blend in.

Now first off, I chose to make this Sangria not for the Vodka, but because it is a white-wine Sangria and that is what I had a taste for Saturday morning. But, secondly, vodka is a nice added touch.

I took the recipe to Dominick’s the night before yet I still managed to forget the frozen lemonade concentrate. Does anyone else do this? Wtf?! I had the recipe right in my hand!

Anyways, so I made his recipe exactly as it called for except in place of the frozen lemonade concentrate I used ginger ale. Alex says this recipe serves 6-10 depending on your crowd. I don’t know who Alex’s friends are, but I doubled the recipe for 4 gals. Maybe that was my problem?

Friends arrived and we had a nice display of food plus our yummy Sangria. We took some pics and celebrated another friend’s birthday (the other puker – lol) and all was starting out well. I’m not sure how quickly we finished off the Sangria, but let me tell you, it tasted soo good. My husband dubbed it: The Sweet Nectar of the Gods.

The Sweet Nectar of the Gods

It didn’t even taste like alcohol and we were cheers-ing away, laughing and telling stories and the ladies asked me to make a second – YES, a second! – batch. FYI, we finished the second batch. Holy shit, are we alcoholics or what?!?

I’m not sure where it all went downhill from here. Well, I mean, I guess I am. I brought the second batch of Sangria out. We cheers-ed some more. We took some more pictures. We talked about going to Mexico in January.

Making sure the Sangria didn’t drown.

Four hours later I woke up. Naked. With a bucket of puke next to me.

O. M. G.

What the shit?!?

I’m a 33-year-old mother! This should not be happening. This is so embarrassing! This is so immature. What would my mother say? Didn’t I learn from the Sangria and the water balloon incident? O.M.G. My counselor is going to have a field day with this!?!

I walk downstairs and Hubs says to me, “Well, you weren’t the only one that got it.”

I just stared at him. I’m not even sure I could speak.

What happened?

“It must have been that vodka in the Sangria. Jen, you like poisoned your friends. Coco threw up all over the kitchen sink and then passed out on the couch for three hours. The other two managed to survive it, both thanking their lucky stars. Could you imagine me having 4 women throwing up and passed out in the house?”

My husband laughed. Yes, my husband is a saint.

So, my review of Alex’s Sangria is such: FAS (Fucking Awesome Shit).

However, not recommended for pool parties or light weights. If you are going to drink this Sangria please don’t drink on an empty stomach or you will end up with projectile vomiting like Coco or waking up naked with a puke bucket like me!

Here is my friend’s review of the Spiked White Peach Sangria: (and note, she did not puke, but she is also not a huge Sangria fan): “Though some may call it toxic, if you’re a wine and vodka drinker this could be your new BFF!”

And as promised, here is the recipe for Jlee’s Sangria. (I’m calling it Jlee’s Sangria because this is my blog, however, to be truthful; this is not actually my recipe, but my friend’s, who shared it with me. Proper disclosures are always appreciated.)

Jlee’s Sangria

Jlee’s Sangria

  • 1 box of Franzia white wine
  • 1 2-liter of Sierra Mist
  • Lots of sliced fruit of your choice, but good with strawberries, peaches, lemons and limes

Prepare the night before in a large gallon serving dispenser (I bought mine at Sam’s Club). Combine your wine and Sierra Mist. Stir. Go ahead and add in your fruits next. Refrigerate and enjoy manana!

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Jlee’s Review – Bare Fruit Snacks

20 Jul

I was asked by Bare Fruit Snacks to do a product review of their Cinnamon Apple Chips. One thing that was really cool was the “sample” they sent me was actually a full bag of chips instead of a mini bag! Big thanks Bare Fruit!

I was super excited to try their product because I am a huge potato chip addict (Classic Lays are my fave) but after 5 Days of Insanity I’m trying to make healthier choices. I’ve even eliminated pop from my diet. Yes, I have been pop-free for two months! GO me!

But, I’m getting sidetracked.

Bare Fruit Snack’s Cinnamon Apple Chips are thin and crunchy baked apple crisps that are lightly flavored with cinnamon. While one of the things I really enjoy about chips is the salt I didn’t seem to miss the salt as much since I still had the nice crunchy feeling in my mouth.  The chips tasted sweet, but not overly sweet.

I will be honest – the first chip I popped in my mouth I was like ewww nast, this tastes like cardboard. BUT, remember, I’m a Classic Lays addict, so of course something that is healthy is initially not going to taste as good to me! After eating a few more handfuls though I started to love them and wanted to continue eating them.

Side note, I actually came home from meeting the girls out for drinks, and when I walked in the door at 11 pm I had the munchies. I reached for the Classic Lays and then immediately put them down. I was soo good at the restaurant; I couldn’t blow it now! I reached for a handful of crisps, and I have to say, they hit the spot! I was surprised that this healthy snack hit the spot after two beers when I was really craving burritos, french fries and Classic Lays!

The Chiquita loved the chips, too, and she is becoming quite the chip addict as well. I need to better her diet NOW, and this is a great snack to give to kids or for me to take to the office for afternoon snacking.

“Mommy, I want some yummy and healthy Bare Fruit Snacks!”

I did take the Bare Fruit Snacks to the office to share with my coworkers, and they agreed on the first taste sort of being icky, but that once they got used to what they were eating they started to enjoy the chips a lot more. One gal I worked with even asked where you can buy them.

So, my review of this product is that it is the perfect healthy snack! If Bare Fruit Snacks sends me another product I will plan to do my 1st ever blog giveaway. Wow, I’m getting so official. :)

Here is some additional info on Bare Fruit Snacks:

~ 100% organic for you natural lovers
~ Two servings of fruit in every bag
~ Fat and gluten-free
~ Additional flavors include; Fuji Apple Chips, Granny Smith Apple Chips, Dried Cherries, Dried Mangos, Dried Pears
~ Available at a wide range of stores, such as; Walmart, Costco, Whole Foods or you can purchase online at Amazon or at Bare Fruit Snacks online.

Visit Bare Fruit online at www.barefruitsnacks.com and check them out on FB and become a fan at www.facebook.com/barefruit.

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Repepepepepeat….I Want a Divorce [Drama]

19 Jun

I wrote I Want a Divorce [Drama] in October 2010. It is one of my favorite posts because I think it represents how vulnerable I was at the time. The Post Partum Depression I suffered from was suffocating me. I knew I was going crazy, but I didn’t have a clue how sick I really was. I was on a speeding train ready to crash and burn. Unfortunately it would be another four months on this [crazy] train before I would finally get the help I needed.

I know this post was very difficult for many of my friends to read. It caused them to be fearful and worried for my well-being, but now that I am in a healthy place, please give it another read and see if you feel differently about it now. I’ve entered this piece in a couple of contests hoping for publication, but without any luck yet. Maybe it’s not as good as I think? But, it’s mine, and I will always cherish this post. I hope you enjoy it as well.

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Photo courtesy of http://www.fanpop.com

You’re not healthy for me, and you know it.  I try to push you away.  You repeatedly creep back in and say you’re here to stay.

Like the mold in my shower I keep scrubbing away.  Scrubbing you out of my tomorrow and today.  The harder I scrub, the harder it is to resist you.  I can’t get cleansed of you and the more wrinkled and bloody my hands become.  The toxic products destroy my skin, but also my lungs,  as I breathe you in.

I know you’re harmful to me, you’re toxic, but like you’re my drug addiction I can’t stop you.  I can’t fight it.  You are always there.  You enter my body and poison my veins.  Like a river you flow through me, and now I don’t care.  You tingle through my arms, my legs and my feet…I can taste you on my lips and boy do you taste sweet.

You reach my heart and slowly squeeze it.  I’m suffocating; I need air.  I look in the mirror and see the damage you have done, though I’m still here.  My heart is broken and weak, do you see me suffering?  My eyes are empty and pleading; but you will slowly kill me.

“God help me!”  I cry out.  I plead with him, please!  I will do anything, God, just make me free.  He listens, but not for long….because you slither back in.  You follow me throughout my day and into the eve.  You’re the nightmare I can’t break free from; you’re with me every night.  I wake up in a cold sweat, thinking of you and pining for you, but dreading the light.

You don’t know how not to wound me.  And you don’t care when you do.  You take over my mind and my body and bounce me like a yo-yo.  You watch me whither away until I resign my soul to you.  I am a robot wandering aimlessly about and you have the remote control.

You exhaust me and frustrate me and anger me, too.  Can’t you see that I’m tired and sick without you?  I’m just exhausted of the lies and pain that you’ve caused.   I can’t take this anymore.  I want a divorce from you.  I want to be away from you and never see your face again.  I want to – I need to – break free of these powers you have over me.

But I don’t seem to know how.  I can’t get away from you!  No matter how hard I try to leave you, you come find me and fight.  You carry me back in, and without you I might die.  No matter how much wine I drink to numb me, I still wake up cold, and empty, and alone.  Sober I am your puppet and you run the show.  My puppet master, you will operate me while I fight for my life.  When I’m drunk I don’t fear you, but crave your bite.

Stop!  Just stop the madness, with you I plead!  But you don’t and you won’t, why don’t you see?  Like a vampire you bite me and suck more blood from me.  You let me lay close to death, and then you breathe air into my lungs.  Just then, my eyes open, and I see you standing there.  I look you in the face, and I don’t feel angry, my memory erased.  I’m happy to see you.  You make me feel alive and well again.  I can breathe!  Oh how I’ve missed you.  Oh how I need you by my side.

And then you suck the air from my lungs again, leaving me drained and helpless with only my jumbled thoughts and fears.  I break into tears and you lick my face clean.  The tears keep flowing from my eyes and you watch me weep.  I’m drowning in a river of sorrow and pain.  Help me please!  You throw me a rope, and you rescue me.

There I lay begging you to wrap your warm arms around me.  You smile at me like the Cheshire Cat and disappear into thin air.  I’m alone and crying.  Where did you go?  Why did you leave me again?  Come back for me.  Please.

Then you reappear with a soft voice telling me to follow you here…follow you through the woods and out of this nightmare.  We can wake up in Wonderland, together you and me.  But, your voice is getting fainter and again you leave me.  I can’t hear you anymore!  Wait up.  Wait for me!  And you’re gone again, forcing me to finally see.

I twirl around in circles; my arms stretched out wide.  I’m spinning and spinning, you’re no longer by my side.  I’m dizzy and falling, and the rain pours down.  My long black hair rinses clean, and I am back to me; back to blonde. I’m free of you.  I’m free! I’m looking in the mirror again – at me, at me smiling, and blonde, and tan and pretty.  And you startle me.  There I see you just behind me.  You smile at me, reminding me you will always be just behind the curtain, you will wait to reappear and throw me off-balance from my life.  Reminding me you will come back for me; this will never be done,  no matter how far I run and hide, no matter what color my hair, no matter drunk or sober, you will still be there.  You whisk me up and will sweep me away, against all my efforts to be still, to stay.

I follow you down the dark damp hole.  I hear drip…drip….and I’m looking everywhere, where did you go?  You tell me left, I look right, you tell me right, I look left.  I’m so confused, let’s end this right.  I want a divorce, drama, that’s what I need. Please, drama, grant me the divorce I need.  I beg of you let me break free, give me this opportunity.  But you don’t.  You won’t.  You never will.

You breathe me in and suffocate me.  I gasp for air.  You take away my fears and then disappear.  You leave me scared and alone, down deep in the hole.  I try to crawl out towards the light.  Just a few more steps to go, I can no longer fight, drama.

Free me of these silly games, I don’t deserve to suffer this way.  Thank you fear and violence, and disillusionment and hope; thank you sadness and laughter, and anguish and faith.  Thank you drama, can you hear?  For without you I have no confidence to stay…. I want a divorce….drama, please, just allow me to be.  Drama…please let me go….I am broken and alone.

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