Tag Archives: Alzheimer’s

When It Comes to Sex My Husband Has Alzheimer’s

20 Sep

When a kid comes along the sex life starts to dwindle. I’m not proud of it. I always said that I would never be the mom who doesn’t work out, who doesn’t get weekly mani/pedis, or who doesn’t have [enough] sex with my husband…but I am that mom. Life gets in the way.

I’m not making excuses, but I guess I am, I mean, I work full time (not that SAHMs don’t have it just as hard if not harder), I race home to make dinner, pack bags, spend a little time with my two-year old who is growing like a weed, I write a blog, I’m trying to sell a book AND keep up with the Kardashians, not to mention reading the latest books, i.e., currently reading 50 Shades of Grey.

I’m not proud of it, I do try to make my marriage a priority, but I just can’t do it all. At the end of all this I’m exhausted. Hell, I’m exhausted just thinking about it. I fall into bed, and not in a cute Victoria’s Secret get up, but in my lounge pants and tee and wrap myself up in my blankie (yes, at 33 I do have a blankie, and I love it). My husband loathes it and says: “I can’t even get next to you! You’re wrapped in this cocoon.” He proceeds to claim he ‘hates this thing’ and wants to burn it.

I don’t write a lot about my marriage out of respect for my husband and my bonus daughters, but I do think it’s important to share that marriage is hard. We all know it’s hard. It takes work. I leave my full time job to come home and work a job at home and that is being a wife and a mother and its fucking exhausting.

I’m not complaining though. Two years ago I was complaining. I was drowning and couldn’t pull myself out of the tide that sucked me in and was bringing me down. Two years ago I wanted to run away from it all.

Now I relish in it all and drink when I need to. I have an amazing husband – I mean he puts up with me after all and I’m sort of a pain in the ass. I have an amazing daughter who is seriously perfect in every which way. I have amazing bonus daughters and parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins…you know those big Italian families that love you and love to fight with you.

And while I love it all it’s not to say that there aren’t struggles along the way. And one of those struggles is making sure I don’t neglect my husband.

It’s not that I don’t enjoy sex or don’t want to have sex it’s that I’m exhausted. All the time. I get plenty of rest, I eat well, I take my Omega 3s, Vitamin B and Probiotics…I’m not exercising as much as I should these days, but I do go for walks and clean up after a husband, a child and two cats.

It never fails that night rolls around and after I’ve completed my daily tasks I fall into bed completely drained. Hubs rolls over and give me the eye. You know the eye…the let’s do it baby eye.

And then I have to look into those big hazel eyes, throw my arms up in the air and say, “We just did it!”

Like a child being told that Santa Claus doesn’t exist I see his hopes and dreams shattered. I’ve destroyed him.

“What do you mean we just did it?” He tugs at the covers hard to show his displeasure. (See husbands are a lot like 2-year-olds. They express their pleasure and displeasure in very similar mannerisms.)

“What do you mean, ‘what do you mean’?” I ask, picking up 50 Shades of Grey.

“Isn’t that book supposed to make you like horny?”

I look at him in disgust. He picks up his video game remote control, and I settle into 50 Shades. He’s mumbling now…something along the lines of “It’s been 2 weeks.”

“Uh-hem,” I clear my throat, exaggerating the hem, “We just did it last week.”

“Uhhhh…no we didn’t.”

“Yes, we did.”

“No, we didn’t.”

Now we’re fighting like children.

The sex calendar

To prove my point I consult the calendar the next day. I say very sweetly, “Honey, I’d like you to know that I’m going to start a sex calendar.”

He laughs because he’s the one who supposedly started a sex calendar years ago. I say supposedly because I’ve never seen said calendar so who knows if it really exists?

I point to the calendar. “We did it on Friday.”

“Friday? What are you talking about? It was more like Monday or Tuesday.”

“Wrong. We did it Friday.”

See, what happened was I made the mistake of promising sex in the afternoon. I was trying to add some spice so-to-speak so when I spoke to him at lunch I mentioned watching the Bears/Packers game, having a couple beers, putting the Chiquita to bed, and so on.

And this is exactly why you don’t make promises to children. Or husbands.

After work I had a meeting for the Alzheimer’s Association. I’m driving home and its dark, cold and rainy. I was trying really hard to wake back up. I walked in the door and shouted, “Hello!” in the Jerry Seinfeld voice that we do with the Chiquita. She runs into the kitchen uber excited yelling, “Mommy!”

This is great!

I open a beer, I put on my new jammies (not lounge pants and a tee BTW), I cut some cheese to snack on, and I sit down next on the couch. Then I proceeded to get up 100 times…to feed the cats, to get the Chiquita a snack, to get the Chiquita more to drink, to put on the Chiquita’s Bears jersey. I haven’t even had 3 sips of beer and it’s now the 2nd quarter!

Me and the Chiquita…Gooo Bears!

“Are you even going to sit down?” Hubs asks me.

“Well, I’d like to but someone has to attend to the child,” I say rather snotty. And it’s not that he didn’t do anything all night, I mean, he came home from work and was on kid duty until I walked in the door at 7:15 pm. It’s just I walked in the door and got plowed over by everyone needing something, which always seems to happen. I can’t even walk in the door and take a pee until everyone is attended to.

Finally it’s the middle of the 2nd quarter, the Bears are turning out a dismal performance, and I just finished my beer. I sit there and think: Holy shit, I’m exhausted. My head sort of hurt, my eyes were closing…I kept thinking I just wanted to lay in bed and get wrapped up in my blankie.

And then I did the worst thing a wife can do.

I FELL ASLEEP.

My husband says, “We’re not doing it tonight, are we?”

“mmejkd;arjea;kar,” I mumbled, which meant, No baby, I’m so sorry, I love you so much, I’m just exhausted.

The story of our life.

But I redeemed myself. The next morning I woke up before my alarm to surprise him with a morning quickee. I felt like the best wife ever because normally I snooze about 3-4 times and never ever ever do I wake up early, not even to go to Dunkin Donuts for an iced coffee. I sleep as late as I can possibly sleep and then run around like a nut in the morning trying to get out the door. This is every single day.

So you can imagine my husband’s surprise when the alarm didn’t go off, yet I was up and at ‘em.

I point hard at the calendar.

“Friday! Remember? Jeez…it obviously wasn’t that memorable for you!”

“Friday. You’re right,” He says with a big grin across his face.

“Now maybe you’ll re-think all those ‘we never do it’ complaints because the proof will be on this calendar. Right here!” I say, again pointing at the calendar.

He walks out of the room yelling “I love you! I do love you” over his shoulder.

And I love him. :)

Tags: , , , , , ,

2012 Walk to End Alzheimer’s – Donation Plea

27 Aug

On September 23rd the Chiquita and I will be walking in the 2012 Naperville Walk to End Alzheimer’s at North Central College in Naperville, IL. This will be my fourth year walking for Alzheimer’s research and recognition.

As you may or may not know this is a cause that is very near and dear to my heart since my Grandma Bonnie was diagnosed with AD many years ago.

I have spent 2012 as a member of the Walk to End Alzheimer’s Naperville Committee where I have been working with many other volunteers to gather sponsorships and in-kind donations to make this year a success!

I am proud to report that I was able to secure an in-kind donation from Dunkin Donuts located at 811 E. Ogden Ave. in Naperville. Thanks DD! :D

I have truly enjoyed volunteering for the Naperville Walk Committee and have met many people this year. Some of the volunteers work for housing facilities, such as Naperville’s Sunrise Senior Living at 960 E. Chicago Ave., who has graciously allowed the Committee to hold monthly meetings in their conference room and others, like me, have a family member who suffers from the heartbreaking disease.

With that said, I am seriously lacking in my own personal donation goals because I have devoted my time to the committee versus to simply raising money for the cause. It is very heartbreaking to watch the deterioration of my Grandma Bonnie, someone who has impacted my life in many ways and has taught me many life lessons.

The Chiquita, my mom and Bonnie, of Bonnie’s Braves.

That is why I am reaching out to you, my readers. If each of my readers gave $5, holy moly, I would be so honored and so touched. And so would my entire Italian family.

You can donate right here: http://act.alz.org/site/TR?px=5574735&pg=personal&fr_id=1723&et=ECvRbMcckmnYQbWRXIRcIw&s_tafId=11193

The beautiful ‘Promise Garden’ a mission of the Alzheimer’s Association

If you would like more information on the 2012 Naperville Walk to End Alzheimer’s please visit http://act.alz.org/naperville2012 or contact me.

Here are past pieces I’ve written on the Alzheimer’s Association:

4 Generations!

Read My Guest Blog!

1 Way Everyday…

Thank you for your support! :)

Tags: , , , , ,

Ignorance is Bliss.

6 Dec

Ignorance is Bliss.  To Some.  And to others you’re just a complete A-hole. 

Where do I begin?  At the beginning I suppose.  Back when I was pregs my morning coffee was like a million dollar bill shoved in my rear.  If I didn’t have it – look out man.  Look out.  So, as you know if you’ve been reading my blog, every morning I went to Dunkin Donuts and indulged in an iced coffee.  And my kid is fine, so please spare me the comments about drinking caffeine while being pregnant.  I did it.  So kill me.

I would walk in everyday with my Juicy Couture bag and a big smile.  I’d go up to the counter to place my order – usually with the cutest blonde chick ever that I see often and absolutely love.  And for the record she makes my iced coffee absolutely perfect.  “Good morning!” I’d exclaim.  “I’d like a medium iced coffee please!”

Within the snap of a finger she’d have my order, PERFECT! and I’d have the money sitting on the counter – down to the dime – and I’d be yelling “Thanks!” as I was off on my way.

I would then say good-bye to my stalker, hop in my Benz and drive to work.

Side note – I haven’t talked about my stalker in a while.  It’s because I hadn’t seen him.  I know.  This pained me as much as it pains you.  But, I did finally see him last week.  See I’ve been trying to be more fiscally responsible – LAME! I know – and make my coffee at home.  Dunkin Donuts could possibly go out of business because of this.  Luckily for them my laziness has come back, and I’ve been back to going to Dunkin’ to get my cup of morning java.  That said, I ran into my stalker in the parking lot two weeks ago and was actually excited to see him.  (I know, a strange concept really, but do you remember my blog post about my stalker becoming the stalkee????) 

Anyways, I said good morning to him and asked him if he got a new car (he did.)
He asked me if I dyed my hair (I did.)
I asked him if he liked my hair better blonde or black (OK, brown, it’s not black).  He said he liked it better blonde.
He asked if I had a boy or a girl (A girl.)

That was the jist of our convo and now I went off on a tangent. Back to getting my morning Dunkin’. 

So, one day, back when I was pregs, I went in to Dunkin Donuts to get my iced coffee.  The gal behind the counter was not my cute blonde friend.  She wasn’t really very nice to be honest.  I blew it off, was my uber-polite self, and asked for my iced coffee. 

Then, I got in my car (coffee in hand) and pulled away.  As I’m driving to work I opened my straw and excitedly shoved the straw in the cup, like a junkie needing his fix.  I take a big loving sip of my coffee.

What. The. Fuck. Is. This?????????????????????????
THIS IS NOT AN ICED COFFEE.
WHAT THE FUCK????????????????????

I’m already half way to the office.  This is fucked up, man, I think.  I’m pregnant, and I want my iced coffee NOW.  I pull a U-y while phoning my office.  It’s 7:59, and I’m gonna be late now, but there is no way in hell I’m sitting through a day at work without my iced coffee.  No way.

My boss is like please, for the love of God, get your coffee!
He knows not to mess with a pregnant chick!

I go back to Dunkin Donuts and walk in.  OK, I don’t have a shit-eating grin on my face, no, but I’m not rude.  I walk in and go up to the counter.

“Hi, I was just here.”

Dunkin Bitch stares at me like I just threw up in her face.  She’s just staring at me like I’m speaking another language.

“Hi, I was just here.” I hold up my iced coffee (or not iced coffee).  I say, “Yeah, I asked for an iced coffee and this is an iced latte.”

Dunkin Bitch looks at me and says, “No it’s not.  I gave you an iced coffee.”

WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  What happened to the customer is always right?  And further, as if to insult my intelligence, are you really telling me that I don’t know the difference between an iced coffee and an iced latte? Listen, lady, I know coffee like Donald Trump knows hair. Uhh…wait, that didn’t work.

I look at her and smile.  I very politely say: “No, it isn’t.  It’s an iced latte.”
Dunkin Bitch: “No, I gave you iced coffee.”
OK – now I’m getting pissed off.  I look at her – stare at her – and very politely – but very firmly – say, “Listen.  Take a sip if you want.  I’m not trying to be a bitch.  I come in here all the time.  All I want is an iced coffee and this isn’t an iced coffee.”

A guy who knows me walks over and says, “What’s wrong?”

I said, “I ordered an iced coffee and this is an iced latte.  All I want is an iced coffee please.”

The guy looks at Dunkin Bitch like WTF, just get her an iced coffee and Dunkin Bitch says, “It’s an iced coffee.  I made it myself.”

This bitch wanted to get pummeled!

I looked at the man and said (a little more angrily now, cuz I’m getting sick of this shit!) “Take a sip if you want.  It’s not iced coffee!”

The man says, “OK! Just get her an iced coffee would ya,” while Dunkin Bitch just stares at me.

I mean, seriously, what the heck.  I’m being polite.  Even if you are 1,000% positive that you gave me an iced coffee are you really going to sit and argue with a pregnant female at 8 o’clock in the morning who hasn’t had her coffee yet?  Why couldn’t she just give me another coffee and be done with me?  It’s not like I drank the whole thing and then came back and asked for another coffee. I took one sip!  Plus I’m in there all the time!

Dunkin Bitch FINALLY gives me my iced coffee.  I look at her.  I smile.  I say, “Thank you, and have a nice day.  I’m sorry for the inconvenience, I just wanted my coffee.”

No smile.  No thank you.  No apology.  Zip.

I leave and think, Well, fuck her.  At least I have my iced coffee.

WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As God is my witness, I’m driving back to work – again – (and it’s now 8:15 a.m. after all this fighting with Dunkin Bitch) and I take a sip of my iced coffee.  For the love of God, it’s an iced latte.  Again.  Is this some kind of a sick joke that I’m the butt of?

At this point I’m like I need to just go to work and drink an iced latte today.  But, I’m pissed.  Inside I’m like boiling.  I wanted an iced coffee, damn it!  Here comes “King Baby” – I want iced coffee and I want it NOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!

I get to work and walk in huffing and puffing about the iced latte.  My boss stares at me.  I can tell he’s scared.  He wonders if I’m going to kill him over an iced latte.  It was possible at that moment.  Seriously.

I sit at my desk.  I look up the phone number to Dunkin Donuts.  I’ll be damned if these people are going to get the best of me.  I call and ask to speak to the manager.  Irvin gets on the phone.  He’s the manager and he remembers me because he sees me everyday.  He knows that I’m polite and nice.  He also donated $25 to my fund for the 2009 Alzheimer’s Memory Walk.  He is very apologetic.  He said that yes, after I left they tasted the “iced coffee” and someone put in the mix for iced lattes.  How did this happen, I don’t know the logistics, all I know is that Irvin was so apologetic he offered me a coffee on him tomorrow.  Smiling I thanked him, but felt compelled to tell him that his employee Dunkin Bitch was rather argumentative to me.  I said I wasn’t trying to cause problems, but simply wanted my iced coffee.  He apologized again and told me to come see him in the morning.

The next day I went to Dunkin Donuts.  I walked in and my cute blonde friend was at the counter.  She said, “Good morning!  Iced coffee?”

I said, “Hello.  Irvin told me to ask for him this morning.”

She said, “Oh, I know.  He told me what happened.  Would you like a muffin today, too?”

Fuck yeah I want a muffin! “Yes please!”

I could see Dunkin Bitch staring at me with a scowl on her face.  Seriously, get over it.  It’s not my fault you guys put latte mix in the iced coffee machine.  Jesus!  Why are you mad at me about it?  I was perfectly polite when I asked you for another iced coffee.  Why was she so pissed at me?

Fast forward to the last couple of weeks.  Now that I’m back to my daily coffee stops, Dunkin Bitch has moved up on the food chain and has been meaner to me than ever.  This chick hates me.  She hates me “Sharon the commenter” style who just thinks I’m the biggest asshole on the face of the Earth.  I wish there was a stronger word than “hates” because that’s how she feels about me.

I’ve tried to kill her with kindness.
I’ve tried to act nonchalant about the whole thing.

Then today I thought – You know what?  It’s time for me to be a bitch to Dunkin Bitch.  I’m sick of her attitude!

I actually thought I want it to be my goal in life to get her fired.  She has a serious attitude problem.  The cute blonde chick is doing other things now, so I’m stuck with Dunkin Bitch almost every day.  I’ve seen her several times and had to deal with her pouty face despite my polite “please” and “thank yous” in addition to my “have a good day.”  I mean, come on, what does this bitch want from me?

About a week ago when she was rude to me in the drive thru I was pissed.  She gave me my receipt which clearly states, “How was your visit today?”  I decided when I got to the office that I needed to shove it in her ass.  I went on and said that my visit was bad because the female in the drive thru had an attitude problem.

Then this morning, same drill.  As I’m handing her my $2.60 I don’t smile.  I don’t say good morning.  I don’t say please or thank you.  I simply hand her my money.

Dunkin Bitch stares at me with her scowled face and goes to grab the bills out of my hand.  As she grabs the $2.00 bills she is able to grab the .50 cents, but she drops the dime.  I just looked at her.  I’m not offering you another dime because you were grabbing the money out of my fingers and dropped the dime.  Sorry.  I guess your ass is putting in a dime for my coffee today.  Thank you, Dunkin Bitch.

Dunkin Bitch looked at me and snapped, “Don’t worry about it!”
Damn straight, I thought.
I grabbed my coffee. Then I sat there and waited for my receipt.  She handed me the receipt that said, “How was your visit today?” I snatched it from her hands and pulled away.  I decided at that moment that that it WILL be my goal in life to get Dunkin Bitch fired.  Is that too harsh?  It is the holiday season after all….

Either way I got my receipt so I can tell them all about my visit today….and I decided to with this blog.  Thank you Dunkin Bitch for giving me something to bitch about today!

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Four Generations!

20 Sep

Photo taken by my Papa, Photo description: This photo was taken when my mom and I took my new baby daughter to meet her great-grandmother. Bonnie met Eva on 8/17/10. On September 3rd at a family party she said this was the first time she was meeting her great-granddaughter. It absolutely broke my heart.

 

For those of you that really know me, you know that despite my sometimes abrasive and narcissistic behavior there IS a good person inside me ….deep under the curse words and the imagined ass beatings (see former blog post “Were You Raised in a Barn, Eugene Levy”)  

… Unfortunately, stupid people ruin it for me.  Many people don’t see the good trying to shine through … or the sensitive and loving person that I truly am.   

The truth of the matter is that I have no tolerance for people who lack common sense and manners.  And let’s add social skills … and hypocrites.  

There.  I said it.  I’m sorry.  I’m horrible.  Call the Cops….  

OK, that doesn’t really help with convincing you all about my loving personality now, does it?  That said, back to my original statement.  Those of you who really know me know that one positive quality I do have is that I’m very giving.  I love the people who say, “If only I was rich I would donate…” Blah blah blah.  

It doesn’t matter if you are rich or poor.  In my opinion it is important to give to those less fortunate.  So, if you’re living in a cardboard box, share the newspaper you found in the trash with your cardboard box neighbor.  If you’re like me, surviving but not loaded, donate what you can or simply GET INVOLVED.  

And one of my other positive qualities is that I practice what I preach.  I don’t b*tch about things and not follow through with them.  That said, if you read my previous blog post “Keep It Simple Stupid” you will remember that one of the “rules” of drive-thru etiquette is that you don’t go through the drive-thru when you have a coupon.  Do you recall this?  

OK, well, I am the queen of coupons at Dunkin Donuts.  I used to go through the drive-thru all the time when I had a coupon.  Why?  Pure laziness.  Then, I wrote my blog on drive-thru etiquette, and you know what?  Now I don’t go through the drive-thru when I have a coupon.  I even park and go inside when my daughter is with me, and I have to take her out of her car seat  - OR – I suck it up and pay the extra 50 cents for my iced coffee.  

So, back to following through.  GET INVOLVED.  I just wanted to let you all know in a some-what sarcastic manner that Eva and I will be strutting our sweet sh*t at Busse Woods on Saturday October 9th for the 2010 Schaumburg Memory Walk.  We will be “On the Move” to end Alzheimer’s.    

We would love to have you on our team – Bonnie’s Braves.  Click HERE to join.  

If you are able to give we would love a donation from you – whether it’s $5 or $500 every little bit helps!  And if you are not able to give, please say a prayer for my grandma, Bonnie, who is so very BRAVE, in her fight against Alzheimer’s Disease.  Please check out our donation page to learn more about why Alzheimer’s is a cause that is near and dear to our hearts.    

JENANDEVA <—Click here to view our personal page.  

For more information on Alzheimer’s Disease go to Alz.org.  

Thank you,
Jen and Eva  

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Read My Guest Blog!

9 May

Team "Bonnie's Braves"

 

I am SO honored to report that I was asked to be a guest blogger for the fabulous website I shared with you once before. 

One Way Everyday — written by Don H.  What an amazing story.  He shares that he lost his sister to cancer and chose to start a year-long project in which he highlights a different charity each day.  He doesn’t always talk about donating money, either.  He offers creative ways to help different organizations through every day activities. 

I emailed Don and asked him to highlight Alzheimer’s Disease in honor of my Grandma.  I was so pleased when he responded and asked me to guest blog on his website about Alzheimer’s. 

I want to give Don a BIG thank you for taking the time to create such a truly inspirational website and for allowing me to be a part of it.  Thank you for highlighting OUR very important cause (Don also shared with me that he has a family member who suffers from AD). 

Click here to read my post! Click here to read my original post about One Way Everyday! 

I would also like to say Happy Mother’s Day to all the Grandma’s, Mom’s, Stepmom’s, Mom’s-to-Be and Mom’s to animals.  Being pregnant sure makes me appreciate all the fabulous women in my life!

Tags:

And You Think Your Family Is Matto?

29 Apr

Back in February I approached my Papa about taking my grandma on a trip to Arizona.  I wasn’t sure how he would feel about it; since she has Alzheimer’s, I’m pregnant and I’m sort of the “baby” of the family….maybe I should back-up?

What’s the saying – ‘Family, can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em?’  I love my family dearly, but they definitely make me matto (Italian for “crazy.”)  Being of Italian descent (have I mentioned before that I’m Italian?) my family definitely favors many Italian stereotypes.  We are the big loud Italian family, run by our own “Godfather” my beloved Papa.  Side note: Every time I see my Papa he’s wearing a different t-shirt that says “Proud to be Italian.” Or “I know You Wish You Were Italian.”  (I’m not joking, he must have hundreds!)  And just for a visual, he also carries a coffee mug that says “Of course I’m a Republican.”  I just adore him.

My Papa and I in our Italian duds

My Papa and grandma have five children – my mother being the eldest.  My mom had me at a young age so her baby sister was just nine when she became an auntie to me.  Naturally as the first granddaughter I was absolutely adored by all (are you even surprised?).  Because my mom was young we spent a lot of time with my grandparents and her siblings.  I almost became the sixth child in a sense.  But, as the years have passed I’ve kind of turned into the black sheep of the family, or maybe the pink sheep. 

I have always beaten to my own drum.  I have always liked to do things in my own way.  I have the same strength and independence as my Papa.  I’m a very ambitious and driven person.  I strive for excellence every day.  I am very hard on myself, and I know I get this from my upbringing.  I always want to better…I can be better, do better, be more attractive, make more money….In the end it leaves you truly never satisfied, but that’s a blog for a different day.  On the positive end of it, I can pretty much get anything accomplished that I set my mind to.  (Remember, I’m writing my first novel, tentatively titled “Concrete Boots!”)

So now with this background information you know that I am the oldest child (obviously possessing first born traits like being assertive and a perfectionist), with a touch of baby of the family syndrome (my narcissistic and manipulative nature, as well as my extreme sensitivity).

Now back to the beginning!  Back in February I approached my Papa and asked to take my gram to AZ.  I wanted to take her for my cousin’s high school graduation.  My Papa supported the idea and was all for it.  Unfortunately, money grew tighter and tighter and I pushed off booking the trip for several months.  Sometimes procrastinating pays off – as with most of my college papers – but not in the case of buying airfare.  Ticket prices went through the roof!

I determined that I absolutely could NOT back out of this commitment.  I was taking my gram to AZ even if it meant being the first 6th month pregnant stripper at Diamonds Gentlemen’s Club’s “Amateur Night.”  For weeks I watched ticket prices.  I prayed they would drop – or that I would magically get a $1,000 check in the mail made out to moi.  Neither happened. (Remember the book “The Secret?” – ALL LIES!)

So what do I do?  I continue to procrastinate.  I figure it will “come to me.”  It will all work out.

My uncle called me.  He had gotten wind of this (Italians like to talk and aren’t capable of keeping a secret).  He thought it was great that I wanted to take my gram to AZ.  He heard money was tight and offered to help pay for my gram’s ticket.  While that was an extremely generous offer, I do have my pride.  Of course, I declined his money.  I can do this; I can do this all by myself.

I ended up having to change our flight plans.  Sure I was disappointed, but it seemed silly to spend $800 to fly to AZ for five days to see my cousin’s graduation, that which my gram in her Alz state of mind won’t even remember.  I do have a baby on the way, and I should be saving money.  Why not go in early May, when the travel is WAY cheaper?  We can celebrate Mother’s Day, my b-day and my cousin’s 18th b-day!  We can go for 7 days!  Perfect.  Booked the trip for $500.  And before you ask, of course I asked my Papa.  He’s the Godfather, remember?

I left my uncle a voicemail thanking him for his generous offer and telling him of our alternate plans.  He called me back.  WTF?  He is disappointed that I did not book the trip over the graduation.  I explained to him that I didn’t feel right taking his money and that I’m doing the best that I can.  I can’t take criticism and was feeling defensive.  Gosh, I’m the granddaughter/baby of the family for Pete’s sake!  Can’t this family be happy that I’m taking her out there?  I’m taking a week off work unpaid two months before my maternity leave?  I’m spending money that I don’t have (remember, maxed credit cards!) to fly us out there.  Why can’t they just be happy that we’re going???? (My entire family actually suffers from “Never Being Satisfied Syndrome.”)

My uncle was very kind don’t get me wrong – he offered to pay the difference to change the flights and he suggested I talk to my Papa further about this and maybe ask my gram what she wants to do.  After all, she still has an opinion right?  I slept on it that night.  Part of me understood what he said, but the other part of me was all, “Stay out of my business, yo!”

I emailed my Papa, the pleaser that I am (first born trait), and asked him what to do.  I don’t want anyone upset with me!  I just want to do a nice thing!  I expressed my confusion and frustration…it all came out….prego hormones, I tell ya.  I thought my Papa would email me back a terse email.  “I don’t have time for this Jennifer,”  “Your feelings are stupid Jennifer,” or even worse, “Grow up Jennifer.”

It took him a day and a half to respond.  But what came back to me was the most important email that I’ve ever received in my life.  It is personal and private, and for me.  It is words that I will cherish forever.  It is my Papa telling me what I needed to hear, but without telling me what to do. 

My family has always been like an octopus.  My Papa was the head floating around the ocean, and all of his arms were his wife, his children, and ME!  The head tells us what to do and we listen.  We follow.  We do as we’re told.  But it wasn’t like that.  This time it was different.  What I will share, is the common thread amongst my entire family – our pride.  My Papa encouraged me to swallow my pride, as he was told to do one year ago when my gram was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

Fast forward to today.  I called my gram at lunch and told her I have a huge surprise for her.  She was beyond excited.  I told her about the trip to AZ and gave her a choice to fly in early May or late May.  And this is where the hilarity ensues.

My gram can’t make a decision for the life of her, as she can’t even remember the dates I keep giving her.  I repeat the dates maybe five times.  We hang up.  I email my Papa and ask him what he thinks she wants to do, as she wouldn’t make a decision.  I call my aunt in AZ to see what she thinks and if we can switch it.  Well, she’s just hung up with my Papa.  Seems he called her to tell her that as long as she can get graduation tickets for my gram and I that we are switching the dates.

My aunt, confused, says, “What are you talking about?  The trip is booked.  The tickets were too much money.”

My Papa – ever the old school Italian that we love so much – responds, “Don’t worry about it.”

My aunt, worried about it, repeats, “Dad, Jen already booked the tickets.  The airfare was too high.”

Papa repeats, “Don’t worry about it.”

She goes on to say to me, “Well, your mom may be coming out the week that you and Grandma are supposed to be.”

WTF?  I asked my mom BEFORE I booked the trip if she wanted to come out to AZ with us.  She said she would have liked to but money was tight and she was taking a family trip with my aunts and gram in July.

I say to my aunt, “What are you talking about; she can’t afford it because she’s going to Florida.”

My aunt says, “The Florida trip got cancelled.  Steve won’t get out of the house.”

WTF is she talking about?

Me: “Who is Steve?”

My aunt: “So-and-so’s husband…they are getting a divorce and he won’t leave the house so the trip is cancelled.  Your mom called me yesterday and said maybe she could fly out here instead.”

Me: “You’d think she’d mention it to me since I was the one who invited her in the first place!”

My aunt: “Yea, well, she was gonna sleep on it and get back to me today.  So, I better call her and tell her to call you.”

Me: “Ok, I will call Uncle to confirm the price change, and then I have to call the airline to find out how to even change the tickets.”

My aunt: “Right.  I’ll call your mom.  You call me back.”

Me: “Ok, I’ll call you later.”

At 4:30 p.m. my mom is calling me.

Mom: “What the heck is going on?”

Me: “OMG, this trip has turned into a fiasco!”

Mom: “I guess so….Aunt told me they want you to change it.”

I proceed to give her deets on the situation.

Mom: “If I were you I would say no, I’m not changing it.  This is when I’m going.”

I may be the pink sheep, but I certainly don’t like to ruffle any feathers – especially my Papa’s!

Me: “I couldn’t do that, Mom.  Papa sent me a really nice email telling me basically to swallow my pride.”

Mom: “Well where is Uncle getting the money from?”

Me: “I don’t know, but the fact of the matter is I have $100 in my checking account until pay day.  I literally can NOT change the tickets without his money.  So are you going to come?”

Mom: “I want to come, but I’m still not sure.  I definitely can’t go later in the month.  If I go it has to be on the trip that is already booked.”

We continue to go back and forth – some of which I’m sorry to say must remain private.  If you knew you’d be like WTF, trust me.  As we’re discussing the web of drama that has been spun out of control we can only laugh.  This is nothing new.  This is our family.  DRAMA.  This is how I became an uber drama-queen.

Me: “Mom, Aunt is calling me on the other line.  Let me call you back.”

Aunt: “What is going on?”

Me: “I was just talking to my mom.”

Aunt: “And?”

Me: “She’s still not sure about booking a ticket out here.  She’s worried about the cost.”

Aunt: “I already offered to pay for her ticket and she said no.”

Me: “I know, she said she will not take your money.  I told her what Papa said about letting go of your pride and she said ‘he would never do that, are you kidding?’”

Aunt: “Well, I really want her to come.”

Me: “So do I.”

Aunt: “I don’t think you should change the trip.”

Me: “Neither do I.”

We continue to discuss, as I open my pink Dell laptop and check airfare to the desert.

Me: “OMG, the prices have dropped!”
Doesn’t that ALWAYS happen?????

Aunt: “My computer is down.  I’m giving you my credit card right now and you are booking your mom.”

Me (I’m so not a bad-ass when it comes to my family!  I’m a perpetual wimp!): “NO WAY!  She would kill me.  You need to call her first.”

Aunt: “OK, so I’m calling your mom and Papa and then I’m calling you back.”

We hang up. 

Mom: “I don’t want to be manipulated.  I never said I was 100% going and Aunt tells Papa that and now wants you to book my ticket.”

Me (laughing): “I knew you would be mad.  I’m so glad I told her to call you first.”

Today at 10:30 a.m.

I get an email from my Papa.  It says he has found out that my mom can no longer go.  Stomach drops, yikes!  What does this mean?

I call Aunt: “I got an email from Papa.  I don’t get it.”

Aunt: “Well, what’s it say?”

I read it to her and say: “I don’t know what this means?”

Aunt: “Neither do I.  Well, my computer is back up, and I emailed him last night letting him know your mom is not coming.  I checked my email this morning and he hadn’t responded.”

Me: “He responded to me!”

Aunt: “Your mother!  Why wouldn’t she just come?”

Me: “She’s stubborn.”

Aunt: “Well, I better call her and tell her to call Papa and discuss it with him.”

Me (gasping): “OMG, she is going to kill you.”

Aunt: “Why?”

Me: “Cuz she was mad you even got her involved in this.  She said she doesn’t like to be rushed to make a decision.  And now you’re telling her to call Papa?”  I laugh.  This is rather amusing at this point.  This is like the 4th time we are discussing changing a trip that is book for 2 weeks from now!

Aunt: “OK, I’m gonna call your mom.  I’m gonna tell her to call Papa, and I’ll call you back later today.”

Me: “OK, I’ll check airfare again and text you the prices.”

We hang up.

Are you as confused as I am?

Are you starting to see why I’m matto, loca, verruckt, crazy, etc?  Is it starting to make sense now? 

While it’s extremely annoying and drives me absolutely insane….I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Family – you can’t live with ‘em, you can’t live without ‘em.  And if you’re wondering, no I don’t know what is going on with this flight yet.  The craziness will continue tonight in a mass game of “he said-she said Telephone” and I guarantee by the end of the night I’ll be beating my head against the wall and asking, “Where are we going again?”

Photo courtesy of http://www.themadhatter.net

Tags: , , , ,

1 Way Everyday…

1 Apr

 

I am very inspired by a website that I stumbled across today on Craig’s List. I wanted to take a moment to spread the word about this blog and to “pay it forward” by sharing this link with others. Please click the link to check it out: 

http://1wayeveryday.blogspot.com/ 

While I love my blog (and so do all of you),  my purpose in writing it is to provide myself with some form of “free” therapy and expression. I have lots of thoughts, lots of feelings, lots of rants…and this is the perfect way for me to get them out there. But, do you see what this is about?  It’s all about ME. And while I am in love with myself – of course – I am truly amazed that someone would take the time to start a blog (a daily blog at that!) about helping other people. 1 Way Everyday Blogger – I commend you. Thank you for stepping up. Thank you for taking the time to make all of us a little more humble and aware of what the important things in life should be. 

Not my Juicy Couture purse that I SO love…

Not my closet full of designer clothes and Jessica Simpson heels…

Not my Chanel shades that exude “awesomeness” every time I wear them… 

Now, hold on! I’m not all bad. For those of you who know me well, you know that I have two causes which inspire me. Not that all causes don’t inspire me, but I’d like to take a moment to tell you about MY two causes. 

1.) The Alzheimer’s Association
-and-
2.) Animal Rights 

I have supported animal rights for a long time. No, I’m not a vegetarian. But, I hate to hear of animals being mistreated or abused. Animals are innocent creatures here to love us. I have two cats and one dog. If my house was on fire I would run in to rescue them. My one cat – Kelsey – is actually a special needs cat. When no one would take him, I took him in and have given him a comfy home and lots of love. 

I’ve rescued three other cats and am currently volunteering at the Cat Guardians Shelter in Lombard, IL. (http://www.catguardians.org/) Cat Guardians is a local no-kill shelter. I meet so many amazing cats and kittens in search of new homes. It breaks my heart to hear stories of people deciding one day that they just don’t want their cat anymore. Poor Ozzie, a recently adopted fat cat, was left on the shelter door step with a note that said “My name is Ozzie.” Ozzie is big and fat and furry and sooo loving. I’m so happy he has found a new home. I am humbled to be a part of this organization. I wish I had more time and money to give. 

The other cause for which I am a strong supporter of is the National and the Greater Illinois Alzheimer’s Association (http://www.alz.org). I recently became a supporter of this cause because my grandma was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s one year ago. My grandma turns 69 on April 3rd. It is devastating to watch a loved one suffer from any disease. For me, watching my grandma, who was like a 2nd mother to me, slowly lose her mind is incredibly disheartening. And, believe me, this old Irish woman still has a lot of life left in her! But, sadly, she’s disappearing on us. We treasure each and every moment with her. My papa is her caregiver. He sees changes in her every day. He is doing an amazing job of taking care of her, and I am so proud of him! I will forever give to and support the Alzheimer’s Association in honor of my Grandma Bonnie. (I love you, Grandma!) 

So, upon stumbling on the 1 Way Everyday Blog I decided I wanted to take a few minutes to talk about what inspires me. And I wanted to take a moment to remind all of you to be thankful and inspired as well. Please, check out http://1wayeveryday.blogspot.com/ and become a supporter of the charity that inspires you! 

God Bless~

Tags: , , , , , ,

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 695 other followers