You Deserve a Comeback

My financial situation changed drastically after my divorce. I’ll tell you one thing – divorce is damn expensive.

Even though I made the right decision, there was a time shortly after that I questioned if I should have stayed unhappily married and financially secure. Instead I chose happily single and financially destroyed.

I’ve been very fortunate and seen success in my career over the years. I didn’t make the best financial decisions for a time in my life (which I talk about in my book Concrete Boots), and had I stayed in a double income family I would have turned it around.

But because I chose to leave I have struggled. I think the valuable lesson from God was something I really needed to learn – and is a saying I have on a wood sign hanging in my kitchen.

Side note: I had filed for divorce and knew I was soon going to be broke. Walking around Target or Hobby Lobby or somewhere drowning in my sorrows (poor me, I’m broke) I saw the wood sign saying: Live Simply ~ Remain Grateful.

I had not lived simply or grateful for many years! Omg, this sign was truly a message from God! It is still hanging in my kitchen and whenever I’ve felt sorry for myself (poor me, I live in an apartment) I look at this sign and thank God for making me a stronger, happier and more compassionate soul.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m still rebuilding from this financial difficulty. I am still living simply and (most of the time) grateful.

To finalize the divorce I had to trade in my beloved Audi A4 and purchase …. A Jetta (poor me, a Jetta). Oh was I bitter about that for a long time. Isn’t that sad? It’s a car. I was walking around the dealership crying. I shit you not. I was crying and telling my (soon to be) ex that I hated him.

I pointed to the Jetta through teary eyes and said, “Fine. I’ll take that one.”

I remember signing the papers without a care in the world. My Audi’s gone, my house would soon be gone, what was happening to my life?

But, see, this was God teaching me that these things don’t matter! I am happier and more fulfilled in my apartment with my smashed up Jetta. Yes, it’s smashed.

Side note: I hit a median in the road on Father’s Day 4 years back driving my Uncle Frank, RIP, to the bus station at Yorktown Mall. Yeah, that sucked. Then, just recently I hit a gas pump. Yep, that really happened. At the time I remember thinking I wished the whole thing blew up and took me and the Jetta down in flames. But no. God again, teaching me a lesson. This is just a car, it doesn’t matter.

Now that I’ve driven this poor Jetta into the ground I desperately needed a new car. I have painstakingly researched – also a new phenomenon to me – gas mileage, safety, reliability…I’ve looked at so many cars over the past couple months. I’ve test drove. I’ve bounced around from SUV to sedan, American to foreign, I mean, we might as well have looked at golf carts as an option because I’m telling you I would have researched those as well.

Even today as I signed the papers I was having hot flashes. Is this the right decision? I looked up and said, “I’ve bought cars, houses, signed divorce papers; yet I still feel like I’m going to shit my pants right now.”

And I realized, wow, this is the first huge purchase I have made since my divorce. It’s like I’m 22 again except I have a human mouth and a cat mouth to feed. My dad said something to me, too, that I’ve been thinking about.

He said, “You deserve a new car.” And it got me thinking. Do I feel like I don’t deserve it?

I think that is part of what was holding me back. I have been living simply and gratefully for the last four years and don’t want to lose the progress I’ve made in becoming who I am today.

I am still rebuilding. And I am still learning and growing. But, that doesn’t mean that me – or you or anyone – doesn’t deserve a comeback. Just remember to Live Simply ~ Remain Grateful.

Jlee’s Review – A Simple Favor

How many movies can we think of where the nice girl wins? I guess there’s a few….Cruel Intentions…Wild Things (but was Neve Campbell really a nice girl?) and the legendary Grease. But that doesn’t seem to happen much in Hollywood.

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Susie was just as bad as Kelly Van Ryan wasn’t she?

Today I went and saw A Simple Favor starring Blake Lively (Hello! Girl crush!) and Anna Kendrick. Side note: I saw it by myself; well, me and my cabernet, which is the only way to see a movie, I say (see Spending Time Alone).

This movie reminds me of The Usual Suspects in that you have to see it multiple times to get the genius of the movie…or at least I did. The first time I saw The Usual Suspects my mind was blown. Literally blown.

Spoiler alert: finding out that Keyser Soze was Kevin Spacey (Verbal) was truly mind blowing. I remember sitting next to my boyfriend at the time (at the ripe old age of 19 thinking I was going to marry this poor fool) and Kevin Spacey walks down the sidewalk and I’m like ‘wait – Kevin Spacey is Keyser Soze???” And my b/f, the charming Italian he was, was like “Duh! Have you been watching the movie????”

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The Keyser Soze….genius

I guess I’m a little slow. Even then though I didn’t quite understand how it all came together. I think I watched it legit 6 times before I actually had a grasp of the plot. Yes, I’m a blonde (but not naturally).

I felt the same way about A Simple Favor. As I was watching I thought I have no idea what is going to happen…and it’s not that I’m ½ a bottle of cab in…it just for sure kept you on your toes.

When I thought the plot would go left it would go right, and when I thought right, the opposite.  This movie kept you entertained from start to finish. At 1 hour and 59 minutes it was a long movie in today’s standards, but I never felt bored or had the thought bubble “when is this going to end” which I had had several times when it was my ex’s movie choice.

Side note: you know ladies, when you finally get the kids to sleep (kid not kids for me), have a glass of wine and get all cozied up on the couch and then you are asleep as the first scene unfolds…yes this has been me a million times. My ex hitting me to wake up as I’m snoring in a happy dreamland.

Anyways, I never felt the heavy eyelids as I watched A Simple Favor. For one you are completely enamored of Blake Lively. Could she be the most beautiful woman in the world?

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Omgggg Is she not perfect?! (Photo courtesy of Lionsgate)

Side note: for a while I thought Gisele Bundchen was perfect but then she opened her fucking mouth.

So Blake Lively alone will keep your eyes glued to the screen, but holy Moses, Anna Kendrick can really hold her own! And then some guy (the husband) who I don’t know…but he was okay too. Although I didn’t believe his British accent.

Anna Kendrick is an amazingly underrated actress. She has been in gazillions of good roles without the recognition she deserves. And when I say good I’m not speaking as a movie critic so don’t bother commenting how wrong I am…but for instance the Twilight Trilogy, Pitch Perfect, and Up in the Air in which she has most definitely held her own – and not easy against George Clooney (swoon).  And how about her singing voice in “Cups”.

These two amazing women dominated this movie. And then there was the poor guy with the bad British accent. That said, when he went to bed with the friend (Anna Kendrick) I did feel a little tingle downstairs.

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Threesome?

There’s a bunch of he said/she said and then that glorious moment at the end. That Keyser Soze moment when you’re like ‘Wait – is that the Keyser Soze of this movie? Holy shit it is!” And then I felt like I needed to watch it all over again. And maybe 6 more times.

Which I will do.

I may have been distracted while watching Blake call Anna “Baby” a few times as she poured her specialty martinis.

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There was also the picture of Blake’s bush on the wall but I digress.

Did you see A Simple Favor and what did you think?

Have you ever gone to see a movie alone?