There’s a Line for a Reason Dumb Ass!

So yesterday I had the uber annoying task of dropping off my company’s HD Comcast box at the drop-off location in Lisle, IL.  I don’t even have Comcast service personally because I find Comcast to be one hell of an annoying company to deal with. 

My company, on the other hand, does pay for Comcast service.  We had HD Cable Service at our model home in Plainfield.  And as the company’s office manager, my boss asked me to cancel the service, which I did, and it was requested that we return our HD box immediately.  I wouldn’t think my bosses would want to be charged a $300 fee for not returning the box, right?  So, I ask my boss to take off ten minutes early so I can stop at the Lisle store front on the way home from my office in Naperville. 

My annoyance started right off the bat with my boss who must have had a problem with my asking to leave ten minutes early.  WTF, who cares?  My sentiments exactly.  My boss’s sarcastic answer – “You just want to leave early because it’s nice out” left me speechless.  

Seriously?  Do you really expect me to stand in line with a bunch of smelly weirdos while waiting at Comcast on my own personal time????? I think NOT.  And nice out?  Well, that was stretching it on a blistery Chicago afternoon with the temperature barely breaking 50-degrees and the winds strong enough to knock me down. 

Sure enough when I arrive at Comcast there is a line out the door.  I look around and it doesn’t appear there are any weirdos to deal with so that eases my mind for about five minutes.  We all stand in this line deep in our own thoughts – mine being “I want to get the f*ck out of here!” and quietly and patiently wait for our turns. 

And then it happens.  

A grizzly man of 6 feet tall with Santa Claus hair and a scraggly Santa beard walks in – “His eyes — how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!”  Not exactly, more like Bad Santa complete with the smell of booze reeking off him.  He exclaims aloud – as if any of us actually care – “Well I’m just here to pay a bill!”  I look at his dirty jeans and dirty face.  He has a wad of cash in his hand.  He walks right up to the window and yells, “I’m here to pay my bill.” 

WTF? For one, there is a sign on the window that says in bold, clear English “Please wait to be called to the window by a representative.”  And two, did you happen to miss the line of twenty people ahead of you? 

Bad Santa cuts off the Asian man who was next in line.  I stand there holding my HD box with my baby belly starting to peak out from underneath my tee thinking, “Come on Asian!  Have some balls.  Tell him to move his ass to the back of the line!” 

But he says nothing.  

And do I blame him?  I don’t know.  That’s just the question I’m proposing.  On the one hand, does the Asian really want to get pummeled and possibly shot at 4:45 p.m. at Comcast for trying to “teach” Bad Santa a lesson of which he obviously is NEVER going to get?  Is it worth it to possibly suffer a black eye and/or other bodily harm all in the name of “Well, I’m no sucker!” than just waiting a whole two minutes longer and letting Bad Santa pay his f*cking bill and leave so the rest of us could continue to wait in our peaceful (and non-smelling) line? 

Yet on the other hand, what’s plaguing me is that me, the preggers 5’2” 110 lbs. chick (OK, 120 lbs. with my added baby weight) wanted to yell out “Hey!  Bad Santa!  Get your ass to the back of the line, f*cker!”  But, I didn’t.  Why should I fight Bad Santa when there are 19 other people in this line – all men besides me and one other woman?  Why should I raise my – and the bambino’s – blood pressure when no one else will? 

And this is what the world has come to.  No one wants to say anything to anyone anymore.  Everyone is afraid to stand up for themselves.  Or they simply just don’t care.  I was annoyed that no one stood up to Bad Santa – myself included.  In the old days, back when I was really crazy, I would have been in this guy’s face giving him a piece of my mind.  Now… not so much.  What’s happened to me?  I’ve been pussified.  Is that a word?  I’ve lost my spunk.  I’ve matured.  It’s sad. 

I still have my temper – don’t get me wrong.  I guess I just choose to let it flair under different circumstances.  Obviously there is no point in wasting my breath – and my precious sanity – on a dumb ass hillbilly who lacks manners and common sense. 

Instead of standing up for Americans; for me and the Asian and the 19 other fools in the Comcast line that day, I stood quietly and watched another clueless moron go about his day.  Then I left and did what most others do now-a-days….I Facebooked about it. 

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Author: jlee5879

Office manager by day...struggling writer by night

One thought on “There’s a Line for a Reason Dumb Ass!”

  1. Love this! You crack me up!! I wouldn’t say anything either but I do know a few people who would so maybe all hope is not lost. Did he really reek of booze? I always knew Santa knew how to party 🙂

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