How Does It Feel, Eugene Levy?


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I know two wrongs don’t make a right. I do know this. I was taught this. But sometimes….just sometimes….you have to teach someone a lesson.

I taught someone that lesson yesterday.

And that person was Eugene Levy.

Do you remember Eugene Levy?

I wrote a blog about Eugene Levy when I was pregnant. He was the douchebag attorney in my office building that used to drop the door on me instead of holding it open like a gentleman? (Click here to read it.)

Well, Eugene Levy hasn’t had the honor of slamming the door in my face for some time. Because 1. I went on maternity leave. And 2. I have this problem being on time to work so I never – ever – get to the office before Eugene Levy anymore.

That said, he walks by my office on a daily basis, and daily I smirk at him. I know it’s unhealthy to hate someone you don’t even know, but man, do I hate him. I just hate rude people in general.

Sorry I have manners!

Sorry I hold the door for people!

Sorry I’m friendly, and I say ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’

So, anyways, yesterday I am leaving the office at 4:30 pm. I put my coat on and grab my Juicy Couture bag. I yell good-bye as I walk out my office door.

Well, well, well…would you look who walks out his office door right after me? I mean a second after I walked out…..

Pay back is a bitch mo-fo’s.

I hauled ass to the big green door. I repeated to myself, “You will not hold the door for Eugene Levy…you will not hold the door for Eugene Levy…you will NOT hold the door for Eugene Levy…” It keeps racing through my head. Over and over.

I can’t let myself down even though I feel soooo bad dropping the door in someone’s face.

Even though I know he deserves it I can’t be THAT person. I don’t want to be THAT person.

I know you would all be so proud of me if I told you that I DID hold the door for Eugene Levy.

BUT – sorry to burst your bubbles – this is JLEE’s blog and if you think I’m a b*tch so be it! You bet your ass I did not hold the door for that mother f*cker.

I pushed the big green door open with my head held high. I briskly walked through the door. And then…Then I let it drop. Right in his face.

I flicked my hair off of my shoulder and smiled to myself as I continued walking to my car with my nose in the air.

Take that, Eugene Levy. How do you like it?