Good-Bye for Now

Dear Friends and Blog Readers,

I am currently not well as many of you may have picked up on. I am going to cease writing my blog until I get well for two reasons.

1.) The criticism is hard to take. And right now I’m not strong enough to deal with the haters.

2.) I love writing my blog, but I need to get better so I can be a better mother to my daughter Eva. Looking her in the face every day is enough to make me know I want to get better, but I’m good at faking it and pretending like things are OK. Then I find myself wanting to murder someone over not using their turn signal and it makes me start to wonder….gee…what’s up with that psycho (meaning myself).

Allowing myself this time to re-evaluate my life goals, my wants, my dreams and my desires without the diversion of my blog will help me to remember what is important to me. I’m good at distracting myself with wine and Facebook and shopping and blogging and doing anything – ANYTHING – but deal with the pain that I have been experiencing for some time.

Like a teenager who has gotten bad grades I’m taking something away from myself that I love – my blog/a car for a teen – in order to concentrate on getting well.

I will come back with rants, but rants a little better than General Disaster emailing me to “shove it up my ass” (I mean, why did I even bother to respond to that turd, seriously?) and hopefully back with some good stories, too, as I’ve been asked to open up about the good stuff in my life, and believe me there is tons. My pessimistic nature just tends to look at the bad.

I was working on a piece that I decided not to share, but here is a bit of it:

My blog from 2 weeks ago sparked some emotions from my readers. Some of my readers saw the glass ½ full – I am fashionable, and well, now, stylish according to the Target ladies. I should take it as a compliment! It’s a part of who I am! It’s OK to be me!

Others could see where I was coming from. Maybe I was seeing the glass ½ empty. I felt insulted. My ego took a serious bruising. I felt like I needed everyone to know that I DO care how others view me. I’m NOT a dumb ass.

But, the fact of the matter is that it doesn’t matter what I do or say. You’re going to think what you want to think. Some of you will love me and some of you will hate me. Some of you will love me but hate things I say….and vice versa.

And that’s OK!

I’m still learning with this blogging experience. It feels good to get my thoughts down on paper. It feels good to get emails from people saying, “I know exactly how you feel!”

But, the criticism is tough, and I’m learning to deal with that, too. It doesn’t feel good to get emails from people telling me I’m stupid … or I have issues … or I’m a bad mother. But, that’s part of the territory. I put myself out there for people to judge me. I have to deal with the good and the bad.

I will be back. I promise! 🙂



Author: jlee5879

Office manager by day...struggling writer by night

9 thoughts on “Good-Bye for Now”

  1. Jen,

    I have been reading snippets of your blog for sometime now, but feel compelled to comment at this point. If you truly find peace and sense of self in writing you should continue to do so. Regardless, of what others may think of your words, if you are writing for you then the approval/disapproval of strangers should not influence you.

    I do not like everything you write. I laugh hysterically at other things you write. That is what a GOOD writer does. Makes us FEEL some kind of reaction to their written words. As an artist myself I know the constant self doubting that can accompany putting something out there of yourself for the “world” to twist and turn and corrupt but know that some of us out there also understand the delicious dilemma’s of the creative spirit! Pick up your pen you chicken shit! Make me laugh, make me cry, make me go OMG I can’t believe she just said that, what is wrong with her? Did I read that right….F*k the doubters!

  2. Dana reminds me of the teacher from charlie brown, you know she’s talking but all you hear waaah waaah waaah!

  3. She says goodbye for now but she still responds to Roberts comment. Apparently its easier said than done. Cant wait for the next episode of “crazy bitch with a blog”.

  4. Robert~ I agree with Tami you are one big Jackass!! Where do you get off telling people what to do and what not to do.
    I have to tell you that Jen is a friend of mine and you will not find a person more passionate and caring. Jen, I think you are doing a great job and don’t let a wipes like Robert shut you down.
    Sure we all have had issues and at one time or another and don’t tell me you are perfect because your piece right here proves that you aren’t. And yes we have all been an enabler at one time or another. God help the people you have enabled. I shutter to think of what you helped or taught them them to do. You are clearly a loner who needs to take others hardships and thrive on them. You should be ashamed of yourself.
    So Robert, Go take that “so called” perfect life that you think you lead and find somewhere else to spew your nasty comments. They are not appreciated here!!
    P.S. Jen, I just saw a picture of Eva….She gets cuter everytime I see her. Hope to see you guys soon

  5. Robert, you are a complete ass. Obviously you haven’t a clue about what it is like to be a woman, a mother, a human! I am assuming you are probably NOT married and if you are, poor her! It is wise to try and put yourself in another person’s shoes prior to judging, especially in a public forum. Clearly Jen has some issues to deal with, and good for her for letting them out! Her admissions just may be what is helping someone else who can’t let their emotions out. Shame on you for being so cruel and so one sided! I am sure your life is 100% peachy king–or, you are opposite of Jen, a coward who is too afraid to admit any faults! Either way, you can take your intelligent ass away from this blog!

  6. Well said jen! it’s so funny that the people that are negative sound so a like… hmmm must be related or one in the same… I smell envy and jealousy… the great thing about life is that while you continue to do what you love, they will continue to be upset by your happiness.. lol!!! I say punish them!!! Write, write, write, till their eyes bulge from their heads!!! LOL! La-Ooze-ers!!! Once again people wrapped in jealously because they can’t stand their own pathetic little lives they live in. Cracks me up! The sad thing is they have no idea how pathetic they truly are, if they only knew. Or maybe they do know and that’s why they are trying to ruin your day because their lives are so miserable… I would continue to write even if I wanted to stop just to annoy their puny little minds! It would be so much fun!!…

  7. I think it’s for the best you terminate your blog.

    If you’re 31 and still wish to become a writer . . . I don’t even know what to say. I mean, bloggers inherently employ a colloquial style but what you’ve spewed out here doesn’t even come close to that. Just stick to the simpler things in life (know your place) and don’t get too dejected if you try again and it doesn’t work out. Actually, I take it back that you terminate your blog. Please keep the public posted about your dreams and disappointments because they make for an inane read and remind me how far the spectrum of intelligence stretches.

    P.S. — please stop being enablers.

    1. Dear Robert,
      Thank you for writing. Know that your opinion is just one man’s opinion. One of my favorite quotes is: It takes many different people to make the world go around. While you may think my blog lacks intelligence others see if for its insight and entertainment value. Never do I say my way is the only way, but it is one woman’s way. One woman’s road traveled.

      I’m sorry you can’t be more open minded and rather you need to look at things with skepticism and seriousness. You need to think that your way is the only way. That you are more brilliant than others. This is exactly what I preach in my blog – about people like you – ignorant and arrogant – and you are proving my point, so thank you.

      I’ve often said that I have readers who love me and readers who hate me. What’s important to me is that you read my words.

      The harshest criticism you can give me is to bash my dream of being a writer. When my book gets published I’ll be sure to sign an autographed copy and send it your way.

      Thanks for reading.

  8. Hi Jen –
    One of my best friend’s wives recently deleted her Facebook account in anger and disgust. Why, you ask? Well, she shared a lot of personal thoughts, info, etc or would would just make random comments on various topics, issue…and then get annoyed when people would comment on her posts. She would say people were judging her or were phoneys, etc…

    I actually reccomended she get a blog because her posts were very long and then she would comment several times on her own post.

    What I told her was, you can’t be on FB if you don’t like it when people comment on what you are choosing to share. It goes with the territory (like you said with your blog).

    You put yourself out there for everyone to see. Yes some people are rude and/or ignorant and you can either call them out when necessary or just ignore. Don’t diginfy their ignorance with a response. Never match your wits with a half-wit.

    Don’t be overly concerened with what everyone thinks. You’ll never please everyone no matter how hard you try. Its futile. You’ll go insane. If you are an opinionated and/or passionate person (like me), then no matter what you say or do, there will always be people that won’t like it. Be true to yourself. You have to be you and be comfortable with it. I ignore people that are overly critical or judgemental. I don’t give any weight to their comments or opinions.

    Don’t let random comments from ignorant people (that in some cases you don’t even know) discourage you from doing what you love to do.

    Stay strong Jen! 🙂

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