Little Miss Fickle

Little Miss Fickle by Roger Hargreaves http://www.openlibrary.org

So this is the 3rd time I’ve changed my blog?  Or the 4th?  I can’t seem to even remember anymore.  I’m a little fickle.  I mean, I’m strong minded, and I know what I want, but I also occasionally change my mind.  I think it’s my perfectionist and analytical nature that leads me over think anything and everything.

If you’ve read since the beginning (thank you!) my blog started as Jlee’s Blog; If You Think I’m A B*tch So Be It.  It remained that way for some time….my humble beginnings as a blogger through my crabby pregnancy days and finally through my post partum depression era which seriously almost killed me.

I took time away from blogging – and really life – to get well…to go to counseling and to try to find happiness again. For information on that time see my story Mother is God.

When I found myself well on the way to recovery I decided it was time to start writing again.  Writing is my passion.  I couldn’t imagine my life without writing.  If no one read my words I’d still write for me.  I decided that the old Jlee didn’t fit anymore.  I’m still me, but a little softer…a little more humble and mature.

So I revamped my blog!  I went to Jlee’s Blog; I’ve Gone BaNaNaS but Managed to Survive with the subtext “the working mom’s challenges and rewards.”  I liked it.  It felt more real.  More me. 

But as I’ve grown as a blogger (and have now won an award!!!) I started to look at my blog with complete distaste.  Let me not put this delicately.  This is fugly!  Seriously – FUGLY!  And what is up with the bananas?  Who am I trying to prove myself to?  I was trying to appeal to all audiences…I want my mommy friends to read and like me.  I want my single friends to read and like me.  I want people who don’t even know me to read and like me.  I was torn.  What is this new blog about?  What do I want to say?  What’s my message?

OMG.  My brain hurts.  HELP!  What is my message?  The answer is I don’t know.  I don’t know what this blog is about.  I don’t know who my core audience is.  I do know I need to go back to basics.  I need to remember to write for me, and I need my blog to represent me.

So, good-bye “if you think I’m a bitch” and later crazy BaNaNaS – I haven’t survived.  I’m currently surviving.  I’m evolving.  My life is changing.  Everyday.  I may still go crazy again.  I’m a lovable, neurotic, anxiety-ridden working mom.  I like to drink wine (a little too much), I’m very sensitive – but loyal, and I simply want to write my thoughts about my life!  Why am I trying to prove I’m “something” to everyone?  I don’t even know what or who that “something” is.  Why am I trying so hard?

Yep.  Clearly I need help.  Stay tuned.

So…here it is.  Ta-Da!  My new blog….Jlee’s Blog.  Let’s keep it simple.  That’s it.  It’s Jlee’s blog.  I’m Jlee and it’s my blog.  Just Jlee.  Oh…maybe I should change it to that????

Do I love Snooki? No. But am I being Snooki for Halloween? Yes.

And the leopard, OMG, is that totally a crazy Italian girl or what?  Love the leopard…sorry if it’s a little Soprano’s or – the horror – Jersey Shore.

Tell me: Do you like my new blog?  I guarantee I won’t be changing it from this.  I don’t think.  But, ask me tomorrow.

5 thoughts on “Little Miss Fickle

  1. Can’t wait to watch your blog evolve and see where you’re headed. Be liberated and go for it! One of my favorite blogs was “Not an F’ing Mommy Blog” if just for its name. I still think what may alienate some will be what wins others over! I’ll be reading…

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