5 Days of Insanity: Part II

Today’s post comes to us from one of my good friends. Even though she read my review 5 Days of Insanity she was still crazy enough to give the cleanse a shot. 🙂 She was kind of enough to share her experience with us.

In case you don’t recall my own experience with 5 Days of Insanity…in March I did a 5 day juice cleanse courtesy of A Choice 4 Life. I will provide the information at the bottom of this email in the chance you would like to try it out. Please enjoy my friend’s take below…she is very witty and you will be rooting for her to make it through to the end!


I decided to start my cleanse on a Monday, because I felt like I could enjoy the weekend, and then hit the grind at the beginning of the week. I admit I overindulged the weekend prior, knowing I was doing this cleanse and feeling like I was going to prison, I ate everything I could think of, and drank a bunch of wine too. Why not, I am hitting the reset button! Maybe not the best idea…maybe not even a good idea.

Day 1-I wake up starving, due, I suspect, to my overeating/drinking on the weekend. Also, I already have to go to the bathroom and I haven’t even started the cleanse yet. Ok, focus, get the mixes going, drink up and eat some of the fruit I got at Whole Foods the day before. And wait, I have to drink all 64 oz of this juice? Per day? I must have read that wrong! They give you choices of juice and you can either do 1 juice per day, or mix/match so I decided to mix it up. Ok, I grab my Cranberry juice and head to work, which is just upstairs since I am lucky enough to work from home (but am I lucky? I feel like the fridge and pantry are calling my name, taunting me). Meanwhile, I am working and starving. I complain to friends. They give me support and tell me I can do it. It’s the FIRST day. Decide to take a lunch break, and head to Trader Joe’s to try to find more variety, what else can I eat? I need to find something. I get a few more fruits, and decide to add in some low salt cashews because my body is craving salt like there is no tomorrow, and cashews are a fruit, yippee. I also grab some tomatoes, because well, they are the forgotten fruit. Wait, uh oh, I have to go to the bathroom at TJ’s…nice. This coming from a girl who has a fear of going to the bathroom in public places. Oh well, duty calls. Later, back at home, my husband makes fried shrimp for dinner, and I cut up my tomato and admittedly sprinkle with a little salt and pepper, because I can’t help myself. I eat this tomato like it was a Chicago deep dish pizza. Now we decide to watch TV and there is nothing on, so we decide to watch ‘Around the World in 80 plates’. A cooking show (I am a glutton for punishment). Finally head to bed at 8:15pm, but cannot sleep. The stomach pains kick in and I toss and turn, and for some reason Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville keeps running through my head, “searching for my lost shaker of salt…salt, where’s my Goddamn salt!?!” I think to myself, there is no way I can keep this up, I am quitting. Finally sleep comes at 12:15am.

Day 2-My generous husband let me sleep in and took care of our 1-year-old daughter. I slept until 8:15am and thought, ok, just gotta get through 12 more hours until I can go to bed at 8:15pm again. But wait, I am feeling better, less hungry and the stomach pains are gone. Yay. I think I can really do this. Grapefruit for breakfast and I even go for a short bike ride in the morning and today I am not very hungry.  That was at 10am. It’s now 4pm and I am once again starved and wishing I could go to bed now. I am cooking dinner tonight for my husband and my Mom. I love to cook, so this will give me something to do to kind of get through the evening, and I decided to make them pork chops since I hate ‘em and they love ‘em.  But at this point, I am actually thinking I might devour a pork chop tonight if I could. I am having a tomato and a little bit of cucumber. I know most people don’t see these as fruits, but they are, and I need them. I am sooooo sick of sweet! Head to bed around 8pm again and cannot sleep! Insomnia like I have never had it before. I toss and turn and watch TV and nothing. I decide to watch Pride & Prejudice, as though I love the movie, it moves rather slow and period pieces have a way of putting me to sleep, but no, I watch the entire movie. I finally, finally fall asleep at 4am, only to wake to my 1 year old’s needs at 7am.

Day 3-This is the day I must refer to as zombie day. I can’t really remember much of it, due to no sleep, no food and really nothing to live for. I begin to identify with the guy in Florida who ate the face off that homeless person. I start to do things that make no sense. I take the dog out, then I unhook him from his leash while he is still outside. I back out of the driveway full speed into my garbage cans. Should I even be driving? Is this cleanse really worth turning into this zombie-like state. At least one positive thing, I realize I need to cut any juice and fruit intake no later than 5pm, because I am positive all the sugar is what is causing the sleeplessness. Tonight, bed at 7:30pm and I do manage to fall asleep!! Not all night, but I call it a win.

Day 4-While I am getting ready for my day, I stare in the mirror and wonder how I can single-handedly destroy the entire fruit population on the planet. I quickly remember that fruit=wine, so I abort this plan, and get ready to begin another fruit filled day. OMG, I cannot wait for a glass of wine!! This thought actually gets me through the day, as I begin to tell myself I know on Day 5 I am going to cheat and have a salad of some sort AND a glass of wine. Wine is fruit anyway, I rationalize.  Day 4 really doesn’t count, because all I am thinking about is Day 5. Oh, and why am I so sore? Everything hurts and I am moving really slow. Maybe it’s the lack of protein? I can’t wait to eat again.

Day 5-Can barely get out of bed, and feel like I am 90 years old. Why? This can’t be normal. I text my friend who went through this cleanse, and she assures me yes, she too was sore as hell. Great. Ok, get through the day and then cheat at dinner, that’s my plan! Wait, I have to work, I can’t bear the idea of sitting at my desk. I don’t want to type, talk, email, or communicate with anyone. Ugh. I make it to lunch and I must eat something salty, so I have some peanuts. Peanuts are fruit too. There are a lot of fruits to be discovered when you are truly in desperate need. Then I basically watched the clock until dinner and we had planned on dinner out with my stepkids before my stepson went back to college. I suggest we go to dinner at 4pm…we compromise and go at 5:30pm. I do the right thing and order a salad, a house salad, very boring, but at this point to me, a feast. I also get a glass of wine. I feel I want to celebrate, I made it and I am proud of myself. The wine goes straight to my head and I get a nice little buzz and I am back in a happy place. Food & wine, it is what makes the world go round. Cleanse officially over.

Day 6 to present-I lost 7lbs officially from the cleanse. I have been making much healthier choices since and am now down 9lbs. I don’t know if I would do this cleanse again, only because I got so sick of fruit, it was too much. However, this cleanse must be better than the ones where you don’t eat anything, so maybe I would dare to do it again, but not for a long time.


  • Buy the toilet paper with Aloe in it, and a lot of it. Plus wipes!
  • Place magazines in every bathroom in your home, even the one you don’t use because you will!
  • Cut your fruit and juice intake by 5pm to avoid insomnia.
  • Try to get a work out in on your 1st and 2nd day, as by day 3, you will lack the energy to do anything other than walk.
  • Warn your spouse or family member in advance that you will be useless for the week.
  • Add in nuts or tomatoes or anything that will help you get through the week.
  • Try to watch all your TV on DVR for the week, so you can fast forward commercials, the food commercials are killers!
  • Do not overindulge the weekend prior to your cleanse. You will only be making it harder on yourself.
  • Try to stay and think positive, and remember it’s for your full body health!

Here is the information you need if you are interested in trying this cleanse:

A Choice For Life, Inc.
10650 S. Western Ave.
Chicago, IL 60643
(773) 239-7740

And if you have tried it please give us your feedback! 🙂 Also a big thank you to my friend for sharing her experience with us! Love you babe!!xx

Author: jlee5879

Office manager by day...struggling writer by night

19 thoughts on “5 Days of Insanity: Part II”

  1. Loved this post! Very helpful (and I have to say, I laughed a few times – love your point of view). I’m trying this cleanse starting on Tuesday (got suckered in by the Groupon as well). Wish me luck…

  2. I’m nearing the end of Day 3. You know you are on an extreme diet when veggie soup sounds like an amazingly indulgent feast. To eat nuts, or not to eat nuts, that is the question. The worst part of this is the lack of energy….how can this possibly be good for me? But now I’m proceeding on principle. I want to prove to myself that I can do it. My version of a marathon. Or should I say, the anti-marathon, since I lack the energy to run 2 feet, much less 26.2 miles. LOL

      1. Thanks so much for the encouragement! I misstated my progress yesterday…TODAY is day 3, so I am officially over half way there. This pretty much sucks. But I have lost 4 pounds (4 pounds of what, I’m not sure exactly….as someone else said, I’m pretty much losing weight through laxative use…that just can’t be good for me, right?) At least when I pass out on the train, my pants will be nice and loose. LOL.

  3. I also ordered this cleanse on groupon since it was only 30.00. I assumed it would actually be fruit smoothies instead of powders and tea. Absolutely no clue that most of the weight you lose would be because of laxatives, doesn’t seem very good on you body, not sure though. The day after I ordered the cleanse I realized I could easily do this on my own pretty much. I ate five days of nothing but fruits, veggies, and nuts. I don’t like salads or dressing, so I made fruit and veggie smoothies everyday with just fresh cut pineapple, peaches, lemon juice, and spinach. Sounds pretty bad but was actually wonderful and tart, not too sweet at all. I am normally completely in love with good food and am no superwoman when it comes to dieting, but my fruit and veggie diet gave me literally no trouble at all, I couldn’t believe how easy it actually was. I kept doing this after the first five days and added plain chicken breast with no salt when I wanted it.
    Now to the actual cleanse… I thought it would be a breeze because I had pretty much already been doing what I was supposed to. Not the case at all, even on day one I immediately wanted salty in the morning, I think it may be the protein shake thing that made me feel hungrier and want something good maybe? The tea is awful, I can’t believe people go to work and have to use the restroom that much! I have a private restroom literally right next to my desk and still decided I couldn’t have the tea past the first day, at least not so much of it in the morning.
    My conclusion: I think my fruit and veggie diet worked way better than this cleanse, I simply lost more weight on it because I didn’t crave everything around me like I did on the clease. Also, I am not sure if basically getting a colonic is really a long term weight loss? How long til that weight comes right back? Plus, I could work out with my fruits and veggies just fine, I was loosing fat, not just poop!

    1. Thanks for the comment!! Great tips! I want to try your smoothie, that sounds good! 🙂 Glad you survived the cleanse and are sticking with your fruit and veggie diet. Have a great day.

      1. Thanks for the fast reply!
        Forgot to mention the other problem I had with this clease. Sex! The one thing that is a highlight of my day when I cant eat anything delicious is sex, it is calorie free and a mood enhancer. So when I am on a strict diet it helps me get through the days and helps make up to my boyfriend how grumpy and short tempered I am. Obviously when you are going to the bathroom all day long you really aren’t in the mood, which is really too bad because it really helps me with my diets and reminds me why am doing the diet in the first place. So I can feel comfortable and beautiful in my own skin instead of running and hiding when, god forbid, your significant other might actually get a glimpse of you naked! lol

  4. I think I’m probably the only guy I’ve seen online that has or is going to try this. I’m pretty nervous as I thought women were a lot better at dieting then us guys. This sounds like hell… but I already bought it during a hangover after a weekend of heavy drinking (the typical, “im never drinking again, im going to workout, cleanse, and be healthy” attitude). We’ll see!

  5. Hello Kristin,
    Just thought I would give you that update today since it’s Day 5 and I know now I will make it through this day!
    Today I am feeling great! Just so tired of the stomach cramps and going to the bathroom. I think that’s the worse part. I really haven’t had much hunger throughout these 5 days.
    Tonight I will prepare my organic vegetable soup for tomorrow, since I can start eating other foods on Day 6. I will admit though, I will more than likely have some of the broth from my soup tonight. I need something hot and flavorful, that’s not sweet! So that is the one little “cheat” I will have.
    Overall I am so thankful I made it through to the end. When I first ordered this detox/cleanse I weighed 159. At that time while I was waiting for the cleanse to arrive, I decided to eliminate meat, dairy, gluten, and sugar from my diet in order to be more prepared for the cleanse. I lost 3 lbs. in 3 weeks from doing that. I weighed myself yesterday, Day 4 and had lost 4 lbs., now down to 152. I will probably weight myself again tomorrow morning, Day 6 to see what my total weight loss is from this cleanse. My normal weight should be about 142, so I am so excited about getting this jump start to reaching that.
    Good luck to everyone doing this! Hang in there and just remember it’s only 5 days of your whole life! I almost quit the first evening, but I knew I would regret it. I too think about things like people in other countries that sometimes eat nothing for days and would be happy to eat fruit all day!

  6. Thank you so much for your post! This is really helpful to me right now because I am on day 2, and I was ready to quit last night, my first night! I went to rent a couple of movies and there at the Video store were some BBQ Kettle Chips. I was so close to getting them and eating the whole bag. What went through my head was “come Friday, you’re going to wish you stuck with it because now it would have been over”! I remembered that I usually craving everything and anything on my first day of a cleanse. I know I will regret it if I give up or cheat.

    Now…maybe I’m a perfectionist because I won’t eat or drink ANYTHING other than what’s on this plan. I want to, but I’m afraid I will ruin it and feel like I failed! I’m afraid I won’t get the complete benefit. I noticed you ate some nuts a couple of times and on Day 5 you had wine and salad. So you did 4 1/2 days? It’s exciting to know that even though you didn’t complete Day 5 you lost 7 lbs. and continue to lose by eating healthier.

    I decided I needed a cleanse because I have had a thyroid issue for a couple of years and finally got it under control, but in the meantime I have gained about 15 lbs. I normally don’t eat dairy, gluten, sweets, or non-organic meats, but because of my thyroid issue I became depressed and started eating everything again. Now that I’m not depressed and have my energy back, I wanted to detox my body from all that crap, lose a few lbs, and get rid of the cravings. Usually I crave only healthy foods after I do a detox/cleanse, so that is my goal here, so I can start losing the weight I gained! I plan on making a large pot of organic vegetable soup on Saturday, which will be my Day 6! Mmmmmm!

    1. I am so glad to hear that you are feeling better! Keep up the good work. I went thru a bad depression, too, I suffered Post Partum after the birth of my daughter and it took forever to feel like myself again. And yummy – organic vegetable soup! Maybe you’ll share the recipe w/my readers??? Keep us posted! 🙂

      1. Hello jlee,

        Thanks for the reply. I would love to share my ingredients. I don’t necessarily have a recipe. I just started chopping and putting things in the broth. I think my secret is using organic vegetable bouillon, because that gives it all the seasoning I need. Just use according to directions.
        After the water is boiling and I have put in the bouillon, I start adding all the organic vegetables in this order: onion, potatoes, carrots, beets (very little because it can be over powering), tomatoes, corn (fresh or frozen organic), zucchini, cabbage, kale. The cabbage and kale I add when it’s almost done. I don’t like them overcooked. You can add whatever else you want. I serve it topped with fresh lemon juice, dash of cayenne pepper, and fresh cilantro. Sometimes I put some soup in the blender just for a couple of seconds to get a nice creamy texture. That’s really super yummy! Enjoy!

    2. Hi Rose,
      I totally understand the week you are going through. It IS hard but try to stay strong!! You will be so glad at the end of the cleanse even if you wind up “cheating” on your last day. It is an accomplishment and you are doing it to clean out your system and start fresh. If you need to add a couple things here or there to get you through the week, so be it, do not feel guilty, and I guarantee you will still lose weight too.
      Hang in there and would love to here an update when you complete 🙂
      Good luck!!

      1. Thanks Kristin for the encouragement! I will send you an update sometime after Day 5, which is Friday. Today is Day 3, half way there, and I ALREADY feel SO much better! I have energy today, the headache is gone, and the trips to the bathroom are less intense! Today when I started thinking of food, I reminded myself I am doing this as a kind and loving gesture to myself. I am doing this because I care about my body, because I care about myself. It’s helping.

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