I See the Lights!

Jlees BlogI see the lights. Yeah, it’s me. I’m looking at the street corner. I sigh.

Main and Curtiss.

I’m in Downers Grove.

The lights are flashing.

These things don’t happen.

I’m lying on the ground. In the fetal position. I hear noise.

Please don’t, I think, and I hear a smash.

It’s my Iphone, so what, except I can’t contact my parents, who only have my cell phone number. I lay there thinking why is this happening? Is this me? I see people walking by. No one stops. Really?

I see people looking as he keeps picking up my phone and throwing it at me, yelling, “Why did you do this to me?”

I’m confused.

I lay there thinking, you’re the one who calls me a whore, a bad mother, bipolar, whatever names you can throw…whatever to make yourself feel better. You use my kindness, of course I care, I would never leave you stranded, that’s not me. So you come and embarrass me, then yell at me, then take my phone away from me.

I say “Give me my phone; I’m calling Uber home.””

“No!” You yell and walk away from me. Then you come back and grab my cheeks. You pull my lips to your face and you yell, “Just kiss me! I love you can’t you see!”

I want to believe it, but I know this isn’t the way.

“Give me my phone, I’m taking Uber home.”

“No, you’re coming home with me.”

I plead, “Please, just give me my phone. I’m taking Uber home.”

“No,” he yells, “You’re going home with me.”

“You’re drunk,” I say, being smart for once, “I’m not getting in the car with you.”

And then, harshly, “Just please, just give me my phone and let me be. I will Uber home myself.”

“NO!” You scream. Why do you continue to scream at me?

Back to me lying down, on the cold concrete ground, I see lights flashing as I clutch my Michael Kors. He continues to throw my phone at me, over and over, and I hear it smash into the concrete. I see pieces of it fly, each and every which way.

It’s just a phone I think. I’m really okay.

I hear him yelling and yelling….there’s people all around.

They say very little but watch as he yells. “You whore!” He screams at me.

Then he throws my phone again.

More pieces fall off. Shattered yet again.

I continue to lay there, in the fetal position thinking, please, someone, please, come rescue me.

I hear someone say, “Squads are on their way.”

I breathe a sign of relief, as he throws the phone back at me, one last time, this time shattering it completely….

Here’s the DG Police, what is this? I’m on trial for abuse? I explain I didn’t do anything, he’s crazy can’t you see?

But he continues to scream, over and over at me, that I’m crazy and bipolar and on meds and a destroyer?

I try not to cry, but I look at the officer, and say, “This guy is crazy don’t you see…”

Officer tells me to settle down; I yell “My boss lives in town,” but for fear of an arrest I shut my mouth and attest.

“I’m sorry,” I finally say, “Will you listen to what I have to say?”

It ends they want to arrest him, I say no, just please take me home. I beg to call my parents; they have my kid, don’t you get it? We call several times, please pick up, I think. I watch passerby’s laughing and not getting why.

I’m sitting in the back of the squad now and see. I see lights flashing all around me.  Main and Curtiss…this is the place I want to be.

I wonder what happened. What happened to me?

The cop finally starts talking to me….he loves Dan’s Pizza; it’s the place to be. Yes, I worked there, many moons ago, back when I was just sixteen! He admits he doesn’t like Double Deckers don’t you agree?…I agree and shake his hand, “Thin crust is for me.”

As a final farewell, just as I’d ask any date, I say “Please tell me you are paying the fare for me…?”

I watch my ex drive by, drunk as can be, with a sly look at me…I yell to the Cop, “You guys let him off the hook!”

He says, “Good luck….I wish you weren’t in this funk.”

Me too, I smile…but I smile with peace.