What Happened to Me?

When the words just won't come out...
When the words just won’t come out…

I have been writing my whole life.

I have tons of notebooks of stories I wrote in grade school and junior high. In high school and college I graduated to a journal. I started blogging maybe 10 years ago and wrote my manuscript.

And now I sit at almost 40 years old with nothing to say. This is so untrue because I do have so much to say. It simply won’t come out.

There are a couple of reasons I haven’t written, things holding me back, and I’ve used them as my excuse for not writing for the last year or so.

As I sit here today and have stared at this computer for far longer than I’m willing to admit a couple of things have occurred to me.

  1. Oh how I miss writing. I still journal, yes. I’m too much of a crazy person to not get my thoughts out somehow. But oh how I miss writing this blog.
  2. I’ve written in the past ample times about how I wasn’t brave. I stressed how I truly wanted to be a brave person. In looking back, wow, how brave a person I used to be that I shared my every thought and feeling and failure with you all. I didn’t care about the criticism – I just wrote. And now I see I was brave, and I have lost that with age and experience, because now I don’t want to be criticized for my life choices or feelings. Who are you to get to tell me what’s right and wrong? And I’m scared you will.
  3. You all are really missing out by not hearing my dating stories! 😀 But, that’s not what this blog is about. Sorry! You’ll just have to become one of my true friends to hear what’s really out there. (It ain’t pretty, ladies).
  4. Yes, wow. I have true writer’s block. And I just don’t know how to get past it.

Today I sat and told myself I wouldn’t get up until I wrote words. I didn’t care if they were words that made no sense; I didn’t care if it was the worst piece I had ever written. I knew I just needed to write.

Author: jlee5879

Office manager by day...struggling writer by night

2 thoughts on “What Happened to Me?”

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