One of my favorite lines from the movie Mean Girls. “There are NO rules in this house! I’m not like a regular Mom. I’m a Cool Mom!” Remember? (Click on ‘I’m a Cool Mom’ for the sound clip.) Regina George’s mom is in a velour tracksuit talking to the girls with her big fake boobs. “I’m a cool Mom!” I love it.
I’ve been kicking around the idea for this blog since Sunday. Sunday I watched Kendra. As much as I love my future BFF Giuliana Rancic, I also love love love Kendra Baskett from Kendra, formerly from The Girls Next Door. One thing I love about Kendra is her ability to shake her ass.
But, no, seriously.
One thing I love about Kendra is that she is who she is and she doesn’t apologize for that or try to be something she’s not. I’m actually reading her book right now, Sliding into Home. It’s an easy read, and I’ve been enjoying reading about her childhood and her life at the Playboy Mansion.
Side note, in her book she talks about how she used to be a stripper. I gotta hand it to her, only Kendra could actually make stripping sound semi-glamorous. Like I was reading about her stripper days thinking, “O-M-G! I’ve got it! I’ve got the way to solve allllll my debt! I’ll become a stripper!”
Seriously. But, don’t worry. That thought only lasted for about 5 minutes. OK, more like 1 day, but I decided even though I have the boobs stripping is not for me.
But now I went off on a tangent and will probably get tons of HATE mail. “You thought about becoming a stripper?” “What kind of mom is stripper?” “Your poor daughter!” Ohmigosh. Shut the fuck up!
And this blog has been born. But where am I actually going with this? I have a point – I swear.
Can mothers be sexy? Is it allowed? This is what Kendra talked about on her show…just because she is a mom now she still wants to be seen as sexy. She considers doing Playboy again. Then her friend comes for a visit and she says they have to go out and shake their asses. She said she needs “girl time.”
Kendra talks about something that I’ve been struggling with, and now I wonder if other moms struggle with this too?
What about regular non-celebrity mom’s? Are we allowed to be sexy? Are we allowed to go out and shake our asses?
A couple days ago someone told me that I go out too much. Of course she is entitled to her own opinion, and I wasn’t mad that she expressed it to me. But, I didn’t understand why she felt that way? She said, “Why did you even have Eva then?”
I wanted to cry.
I went home and said to my husband, “Another reason I am a bad mom! Now I go out too much!”
I talked to my girlfriend about it, who said, “Of course you don’t go out too much!” But, she’s one of my besties so of course she is on my side!
I go out maybe once a week with my girlfriends. It doesn’t mean we are going OUT. We’re not going to bars and flirting with guys and dancing on tables! Maybe one night per week we all get together at a girlfriend’s house. We’ll drink a couple glasses of wine and eat and girl talk. Sometimes we’ll watch Grey’s Anatomy.
On some occasions I bring Eva with me – and the girls will bring their babies – for a play date. But, sometimes I go alone so I can have a little “me” time. My husband doesn’t mind at all. He actually encourages me to have time to myself.
Besides, don’t men do the same thing? Don’t men have nights where they are allowed to go out and be away from the wife and kids? How come no one tells them they go out too much? Why is it OK for men to go out and play cards and drink beer and flirt with girls?
But, if women – if MOMS – decide to do the same thing we are considered bad moms? We are told we go out too much. We are “hoochie mamas.”
I’m here to tell you to think what you want to think. Go ahead, call me a bad mom. Call me a hoochie mama. I like my friends. I like my wine. And I like feeling sexy. I didn’t have a baby and wake up 65 with boobs sagging to my knees. I’m still 31. I’m still thin. I’m still …. Me. I didn’t suddenly change over night.
And I hate to tell all you naysayers, but I believe that I will be a better mom to Eva for this very reason. Because I AM still “Me.” Because I am making time for myself, and I will be a happier person for it. I will be a happier mama and a happier wife.
Now I’m not saying I’m going to go out five nights per week. I’m not saying I’m going to go out pole dancing and do shot after shot and dance up on some dude and throw up in a bar….OK, I’ve done all that before – LOL – but that was back in the day…. I’m also not saying I’m going to neglect my child and my husband and put my own needs first.
I’m just saying that I think it’s OK to remember to take some time for your needs. Take some time for yourself, mamas! Enjoy your friends, have a glass of Pinot Grigio and chill the fuck out! Say “no” once in a while to others and say “yes” to yourself.
It’s hard being a woman! We have a lot of responsibility. Now all the men who read my blog are going to BOO me!
But, seriously, women nowadays are working full time, keeping the house, taking care of the kids and we still have to keep our husbands happy. When do we have time for us?
And then if we gain weight everyone’s talking about how we’ve “let ourselves go” or our husband’s are out screwing around! Well that’s fucked up!
This Italian girl is saying fuck it. I’m saying I’m going to take some time for me. Once a week I will let myself enjoy a glass of Pinot Grigio. I will let myself have a girl’s night. I will let myself buy a pair of sexy underwear.
And I won’t feel bad about it. I won’t listen to the naysayers who tell me that I go out too much. I know why I had my daughter. I know that I love my daughter. And I know that taking care of me will help me be a better mother and a better wife.