Having It All (Almost)

There were so many times that I was such an ungrateful and spoiled person. It sickens me to reflect on. I might have gone through hell having the Chiquita, but I’m telling you, it has changed my life.

I know people always say how having kids changes you, but having this bright star in my life everyday reminds me of how lucky I truly am.

I believe she saved me – she teaches me to be a better person every day. She teaches me love. She teaches me patience. She teaches me acceptance. She has humbled me in a way that no other human could.

There was a time I felt I was invincible, and I reflect on that in my book, but being depressed and lost during pregnancy, to my near death experience, to my crippling post partum depression, to fearing I would lose my child during my divorce has truthfully humbled my existence.

Sure I have the selfish days of wishing I could still afford the luxuries I once had, but I remind myself that it’s not about the things we have, but the people we have.

I’m telling you. The people I have in my life are downright amazing. I have so many people who love and support me.

Because I am single and sometimes feel alone, I often forget to remind myself of how lucky I am for the once torn family I have now – now pulling back together – and for the dear friends I cherish, those have truly wanted me to find happiness and who accept me quirks and all.

There’s tears, laughs, fears and hope. But I do have hope. Hope that I’m done and this isn’t the end. This is just the beginning.

jlees blog